I Can Be

I can be your Christmas table perfectly set
Or the green wine bottle that condenses wet
Sitting in my finest suit awaiting your arrival
Like a perfect gentlemen

I'll be your backyard deck
That's bolted to the crumbling brick
Where you go and sit
In the evening on summer days

I'll be the angel wings
That save you if you start drowning
In an open tab
When your judgments on the brink

I'll be your favorite stereo that
Plays your favorite albums back
As you're laying there
Drifting sweetly off to sleep

I'll be your high heeled shoes
And undo what genetics have done to you
So you'll never have to stretch
Just to look into my eyes

I will be the scarf around your throat
Or better yet your winter coat
With your hood keeping you warm
So you won't catch cold

I've always wanted to take you far away
From all the shackles of this town
And kiss you warmly on the mouth
Where we can be free
From the towns sinking feeling
A fresh start for you and me

Everything will change
We'll gladly shout our names
The sun will heat the ground
Underneath our naked feet
Just for you and me

Sun

Please grow old along with me
They predict our best
Its yet to be
And when our time is done
We will fit as one

Just grow old along with me
Our branches stretch from our tree
Tilt to face the garish Sun
When the day is done
God bless our love
Just protect our love

Spending our nights together
Fighting questions together
Our world is without end
The stars shine without end

Grow old along with me
Branches of the same ancient tree
Leaves turned to the sun
The golden setting sun

Fine She Said

Fine
She just said this
All the dark night through
Fine
Is all I said
All the day through
Scratch your dark head
Wait and see
Its all in how you can disappear on me
Her eyes are the color of the stormy sea

Our fear has always been our number one
Surety was what we've been betting on
Its all in how you can disappear on me
Her eyes are the color of the stormy sea

To Be OK

I could waste this whole town
Wipe off my knife and lay it in the ground
We could sit through its reign
We could see through all their lies
And all their gains

I will not wait for you to break
There is more than just one way
To be OK

You speak of that soul of yours
In folding metaphors
I guess we'll always end up with more
Beat me to life
Singing your endless restrains
I've been hit by worded mouths
And I've been heavily medicated

Go and explore
The time is here
If that's what you've been waiting for
Just go
I'll be here alone
There is time enough before I hit the floor

We could destroy this whole town
Wipe off our knives and lay it in the ground
Our musical kiss through sheets of rain
Will out live all their lies
And all their games

Just being alive won't get anyone saved
And there is more than just one way
To be OK

Come Over

If you come on over
Our entire world
We can forget it
It all will drive you nuts
That's if you let it
Breath it in until you understand it
These graves go on and on

There's a light upon the hill tonight
There shines a lady bright
Its all the same
But you and I
Its over now
I know
Its alright

I know all about you
And you know all about me
Yet the 'us' remains  impossible

Come over and pretend you'll regret it
The madness will crack you up
That's if you'll let it
Hang on only until you grasp it
The world moves on and on

There's a light with in your eyes tonight
Its shines its blue tint light
Within there shines a lady
She's gold and bright
I long to wait for you and I
Its over now but

When I know you
And when you know me
The 'us'
It feels so possible

Talking

All your friend are well aware of whats going on
And still I try
As feeble as it might seem
Yet you would trade it all to go along with someone like me

Etched into the woodland trees
One can find all our history
Within the mountains rock for eternity
How you went along with someone like me

You did once before and had your share
Yet all of that led nowhere
I suppose I would go along with someone like you

I don't care about what has been
Or who you are hanging with
Let us sit beneath the stars and see tonight through

And this is how our love folds
Folds into a delicate paper star
And we don't care about who will see
Seeking eyes will always see

Between the magic of the fire
And your sunflower smell
I can't help but feel whats going on
Our hours seem, like clouds
To disappear

Lets just talk
Talk
Just me and you

Song For Two Years Ago

I would run across the red coals if you had called my name again
I would forgo my shoes
I would give up my beloved Rockies to be back again
And all their rivers too
Just to be alone with you

You freely gave your body
To the very lonely
Armored was your soul
Yet you would have given up
Your life, love and family
You gave your all
Just to be alone with me

For me to feel alone with you
I carve your name upon the trees
And to be alone with me
We hid near the mountains stream

Till now I've never known if you loved me

What We Always Said

Finally found our strength
So we've found our way at long last
We uncovered tomorrow
By building upon our long past

Our dues we've payed
Come whatever
We said we would stick together
We are still standing
We have yet to fall to pieces
Never lost our reason
To ever stop believing

It was as if we found our wings
Never falling to discouragement
You and me
We embodied what everyone is looking for

We gave it all
We gave our level best
Our every fall
It proved to be our test

Yes we broke the rules
But we had to do it
To prove we could do it

You are my wings
And together we found everything
You and me
We embodied what everyone is looking for

You could always make me shine
You picked me up when I fell so far behind
With you
I never need to search no more

We found our wings
And together we found everything
You could always make me shine
And with you I never need to feel
Like I've been left behind

Leave Me Hypnotized

You are the color
You are the movement
You are the spin
Please could you stay with me
The whole day long

We play with consequence
Yet I lose my eloquence
Though I smile
You're not truly in this moment
But its you whose in this song

You leave me paralyzed my love
You leave me hypnotized my love
Just leave me paralyzed my love
Just leave me hypnotized my love

Don't Try To Wake Me, Please

Come you to me
Please come now to me
I'm so very tired
And I'll lay down my head
So within my dreams
Please come now to me
I am tired and I need you here
To help me rest

In my dreams
Say its me you need
Just say its me you need
Before you leave me alone

And don't try to wake me
In the cold morning
Just let me alone

Because when I'm in infamy
With you by my side
I can never feel cold
And here with me
In my dreams
You can never freely go

Come you to me
Please come now to me
I'm so very tired
And I hate to wake-up alone
And all so very alone

Carry me to another world
Carry me to a better world
Dear God there should be
Oh God there must be

And if there is
And if there must be
Can you be so very kind
And show me?
Please my love
Show me

I Fit Where?

It was your touch
Or was it solely your memory
You said you would give your heart
To this falling star
How I fall
And here it sits within my heart

No one understands
And no one ever will
All that I feel I have lost

When she found me here
Under the cold clear grey sky
The words that she screamed
Stressed and though unfamiliar
They live where our feelings sear

And if emptiness had a home
It would live in her chest
Where she craves
Reality where her memories rage
While in her dreams 'he' lives

All your selfishness has robbed you
Of the woman you could have been
Yet I wouldn't change a thing about you
I will always call you 'my beloved friend'

If I don't fit here, now in your life
Then where?

Its So Real

From collapse to collapse
The darkness between each one is thinning
Its always more than I think
From formal family greetings
To seeing your wedding cake
As I slept
In my dreams
Its so real

So now I keep my distance
That we both know
Complications can cloud
Our 'hellos' and pics
We send through the fiber optic cloud
Its like watching a poison
That's flowing from
The brunette girlfriend
That's being chased by other men
Yet
Whose hardly moving

You were always the one
And yet I'm not allowed to express
Nor can I spit it out when
You wear your white dress
So I, along with everyone here
Will ingest this facade
Inaccurately

In The Same Way

Oh how I hoped you were somebody
Someone I couldn't live without
Someone who could pull me to my feet again
When I feel hollowed out

So now darling do you hear me
In the dark
Whispering your name

I feel like I'm the last boy in this mountain town
With my empty veins
Staring at the frozen ground
I said I swear I'll never see you frown
You said that I'm lost
Are we ever truly found

Yes I know the place
But I don't know the way
Sometimes I feel no shame

So darling
Do you hear what I fear
I fear whats coming after me
Whispering your name

Stay...
Please just stay with me

But you threw your heart away
And I buried mine in the same way
I can still hear you walk away

Stay...
Please just stay with me

Over And Over

Just like a ghost
You are finally here
She has traveled all the miles
And countless tears

I will make tonight a memory
One to take me higher and higher
The sight of my shadow at your feet
I can see you standing alone

The night itself
Its a revelry
I can drag this image out for a while
I keep her lost with lock and key
Because she's fits  my personal style

She is the kind to lead you in
It is not over
Her smile sets the mood
And so I begin
To walk over
Just a whisper of her words
That makes me grin
Can I please have her
We grab a hold just to face the end
Our spark is what I am speaking of

I made this night a memory
Yes you took me higher and higher
You make it desperate for me to leave
And yet I'm coming back to you

She takes me away
Then leads me in
It is far from over
Her eyes set the mood
So I begin to walk over
She breathes a word
It makes me grin
Can I please have her

I crawl my way back to you again
To hear you speak and feel you dream again
To kiss your lips from well deep within
You are my love
My heroin
I will cross the grave
And fight 'the bends'
To carry our love
To the worlds end

Its not over
Over and over
Its not so over
Over and over

All That We Are

The ice covers the streets cold
The street lights are all old
She feels like a child left on her own
As she flows into her own

It all slowly melts away
Into a wide green river full of shame
But at least shes numb to the pain
L can you see it?

Can you feel the shallow wave
Its like a needle to the grave
Like from your hell to far away
You are my only

You seem so sad my Valentine
On your journey to your light
But like the first flame to the fire
You throw your own soul to the pyre
You're my only

We are
All that we are
We are just holding on
Just until we fall apart

Yes we are
All that we are
We are just holding on
Until we fall apart

What Was It

So here we stand
Within this sun sheltered place
Wanting so much just to see
Your face behind your face

I am left with the dust
Of your lovers
Who have gone before
And who have left no trace

Down by the river's mumbling
Or within the mountains shadow falling
You and were colliding
All of the places
You and I would run off
But what was it we were running from

I will watch you
Silhouetted standing there
Against the silver running water unaware
And like a blue bird you cut through the air

Did you truly think that you couldn't chose
That I would be here
Win or lose this
In all the places we would hide off
What was it we were thinking of

Within my still house of make-believe
We are one but divided in two
Adam and Eve
You send out and I receive
Down by the rivers side
In our secret world where we collided
In all the places we were hiding of

What was it we were thinking of

Creeping Tide

Oh all of this time
We let it slip past us
As unnoticed as the creeping tide
I want to feel nothing but your body
Alone
Just you and I

You can go
And I will be OK
Its nothing troubling my dear
Just a touch of slipping youth
Dressed in neon gray

So when will we be
Only you and me
Looking at this summer sky
Feeling your hand
Warm in mine
Can I be yours?
Because I call you 'mine'

I don't care where we meet
From the silence of your room
To the constant stomping feet
Of the never resting street

Never recognizing a single thing
From the wind that whips you and me
To signs that litter the streets
All I feel is your hearts beat for me

Perfect Nature

And in our minds
At the very end of things
All at once become
A star-field of memories
An electric display
Glowing background of black and light

That spark that occurs
When mortal eyes meet
A sight of such perfect nature
A wonder

That is what it all means
In the end
To be human
A perfection
Without end

To take such feeling
If one could call it that
To hold it all in ones hands
There is only one word to describe
One word to which we are all tied

The feeling
The thought
Of wonders of the night sky
The wonders that roll above
Billions have felt it
When looking, at night
At the vastness that moves above

Love

Forever

There are no more illusions
No more regrets to get us by
It never felt like debt
It never felt like control of the government
You did only your duty
To provide for your way of life

When I see our flag
I feel you close
Like you want to let me know
That its up to me to make
All your dreams come true

Its the Red White and Blue
America
For which you died
I will begin anew
For America
The Experiment for which you died

I found out it was true
Every word you said
Was dripping Red White and Blue
One Seven Seven Six
Every word from your lips
Gave me a course from which to guide my life

Please never hold anything back
Share with us your mind
And your mind will set you free

On this day I feel you close
I can feel you close like you wanted me to
And forever I believe in you
And forever I will believe in you

Waking Up

I'm waking up
I'm starting new
And its about time
That I forget how to give up

If there ever was
A moment to give in
It stops here and now
Please know you'll never be forgotten

How it felt
The velvet of your lips
The words you said
Your finger tips

You will forever live within
So will how you moved and swayed

I must wake up
And see the sun that shines
To know all I see
In the reflection of your eyes

I understand its sad
I've raised this flag
To shed my colors exposed
To feel freedom in my bones

You will forever live within
So will how you moved and swayed

One More Chance

You know I never wanted to let you down
It hurts me deep to know I was the one to make you sad
Lord knows I want to undo that which I've done
And reclaim the faith in me that you had

Girl you know I love you more than anyone
Though at times I get wrapped up in myself
You must know I don't want to do you wrong
And bring you to question all that we have

I know that I've let you down
And I'm begging for one more chance

All I feel now when I lay down
Is the cold Earth against my face
And the distance between you and me
I'm dying within the immense space

Its amazing that no one will ever know
The secrets we've sealed between stars and moon
What we've whispered in the wooded dark
And the moments that flew away too soon

I know I've let you down
And I'm begging for one more chance

Apart

He's got a big plan
His mind is set
And maybe he's right
At the right time
And in the right place
Maybe tonight

With his whisper
Or was it his double take
That gave you the sign
To make out
Or just kiss him hard
Without any reservations in mind

Its late at night
The passenger seat laid down to fit
Your fit body set to flip
Your best friend has noticed
Maybe you've slipped
And you are missing
The lips you're meant to kiss

Your kiss fills with terror
When in the cold day light
When you see him laying there
His shape, sound and smell are not mine

You tell yourself he's cute
Cute in a way you cannot speak
The way it should be in movies
When the woman's knees get weak
Yet you know it will all lead to causal waves
And you feeling hollow for the rest of your days

Friends say its only a crush and it will go away
Its just like all the others
It will go away
Or maybe you're in danger
And you just don't know
You pray out loud for relief
But it just grows more

In your dreams you hold me close
Blue eyes locked onto mine
This is love
So beautiful because it feels so right
Lean in
Can you hear my beating heart
Listen closely as I tell you
I'll make sure we are never apart

You should have seen your face
When he walked up and said his feelings had passed
And you looked away
Not used to dealing with feelings unless attached to hands
Your hand brushed up against his
You left it there
You told him how you felt
He held you within his dead stare

You saw him hesitate
You asked yourself 'what should I do?'
You never wanted to be played like a fool
But your reservations they started pass
Not caring if this was ever meant to last

Either way he just wanted you
All of this was bad
Because with every taste
He wanted you and this was making him crazy

But in your dreams you hold me close
Blue eyes locked onto mine
This is love
So beautiful because it feels so right
Lean in
So you can you hear my beating heart girl
Listen closely as I tell you
I'll make sure we are never apart

Places

There is something in me
A darkened feeling
All the time I've said I'm strong
The way you're feeling
I wish I were feeling
I can't keep this up for very long
Because this time you've gone too far

Don't forget
I know what you are
Don't say nothing
And don't talk back
Keep your hands on the wheel
Don't say nothing
This is for real

No warning that this would hurt
No one told me I'd be the one against the wall
Warm feet in cold dirt
To find the places I got hurt

Did I ever look
If so what did I find
Its the clothes I'm in
That make me blind
I feel it in my skin
I feel it when it grows
I know it in my heart
That's the place it goes

Don't forget
I know what you are
Don't say nothing
And don't talk back
Keep your hands on the wheel
Don't say nothing
This is for real

I feel you when I hurt
Please stay with me
I need support
I dig my warm feet in cold dirt
To find the places I got hurt

What We Are Given

I saw my own reflection
I caught it in the window
I could see the darkness in my heart
I saw all the signs of my undoing
They have been there from the start

The darkness I've created
It still has its work to do
Though my knotted cord is untying
I see the headed and the holy
They are sitting there on high
So secure with everything I am buying

With all that we are given
We are just one woman and one man
We speak of 'union'
This union of this woman and this man

 I can feel it
My grip is surely slipping
I think I've lost my home
Yes, I think I've lost all I know
I have no credit with you anymore
Your fingers long for rings of gold

Is that understanding or anger that I see
Held so resolutely in your glance
And all the while the distance
It grows between you and me
Please help me understand

With all that we are given
We are just one woman and one man
We speak of 'union'
This union of this woman and this man

Upon my request
You take me in
Folded in your tenderness
I have no certainty
I am floating away
Nothing to rely on
I am holding still
Yet for a moment
What a moment is this
For this moment
We are embraced in a kiss

Can you hear the distant thunder
Sounding off a billion unshaped souls
All begging for creature comforts
For the feeling of what we feel
When each other we hold

With all that we are given
We are just one woman and one man
We speak of 'union'
This union of this woman and this man

Give Me Peace

Break out
We should talk
I will stand outside
In this cold dark world
I know this life is hard to begin
When you feel like its all over
But its here we can begin to start over

I know your spark for me has yet to rest
I know we both are full of hurt and regret
I will never forget the summer nights when we met
The clarity of your eyes
The smell of your neck

You know I'm dying
But I just can't let anyone know
I pray to God I can stop this sinking
All the things we left fully unsaid
All the things we should have done
But we never did
All of the things I should have given but I didn't

Give me peace
Give me these moments of our past
Give me your smooth kiss once again
I need these moments back
Please

Time For Bleeding

So I knew you were wasted
But I found out your dreams
Its so sad because when we are waken
Everything is exactly what it seems

I know he gave you roses
If you wanna throw them out
Great
But by the time you do
It will be too late

Oh
Doesn't it burn
To see me
Pleading
Both words and excuses
Are lame
I guess its time for
Bleeding

My mom told me to let the dream go
I'd rather see you hit me
Just because I've gone too far
I always lose whats real

I know you'll turn out fine babe
Like things are made green by the sun
I fell I've wasted my time at our fork roads
Now I'm too old to run

Oh
Doesn't it burn
To see me
Pleading
Both words and excuses
Are lame
I guess its time for
Bleeding

If its pity that I need
Or you're rejection I plead
This will never
Form to what I said

So everyone says to let you go
God, I'd rather see you hit me
Just because this has gone too far
And I'll lose whats real

I guess its time for
Bleeding

Fifteen Years

We gathered here from everywhere
For this July day with stories to share
The dreams we all once made
Growing up in the exact same place

Hearing rumors and things we suspect
Feeling the effects of time and death
We all feel like we're in a trance
No more are we wallflower souls

In this group there is no more loneliness
We all sparkle and sway
No more 'single fate'
Its good to feel like ourselves

This place is where we all started from
Its good to see so many familiar faces this day
Walking these once loved hallways
We've shaken the dust off our shoes
Of this sleepy town
We still gather in groups and guess at the stars
Fifteen years
We can't catch up in one day
I want to hear the stories coming from friendly lips
I could stay here forever

Never Prayed

You said 'fair well old friend'
'Our season has come to an end'
So your conscience has left
And all your lies are at an end

You were always my star
I always knew you'd go far
You'll stand in the flame
Just to make a name

Your limit has always been the celing
You buy another round
Lonely but for this feeling
I can hang around
For you I'll hang around

Would the clock on the wall
Tick the time before we fall
And fall I'll do
If only for you

Given the chance to run
It has left me spun
So I'll drive around in this car
And be reminded of what I need you for

This desaster
Is it what I am after
Oh I need you to
Remind myself
That its my fault
Its not all my fault
I can't hear your pain
I will pause no more
I've never paid before
I've never prayed before

You wish for more than feeling
You buy another round
Lonely but for this feeling
I can hang around
For you I'll hang aroud

My Baby

Oh yes
Some days it can be so easy
There are moments
When I forget
How much I want your touch again

I never wanted to play this game
Where if I lose some I become lonesome
My Dad once said
Boy when if you find a good one
Don't let her get away

Yes
If only I had listened
I would have you
Exactly how I want you
I thought I'd have you back again

I played it all so cool
God I acted a fool
Acting like I never had
Nothing much to lose
But I know you
And you sure know me
I knew you could see
I am begging you please
Help my find my way back to you

Now I'm driving past your basement window
Where you used to let the candles glow
Feels so long ago
But you still live in my memory

Remember when I asked you
If you would be my one true?
I'll never forget what you say
Just like it was yesterday

I played it all so cool
God I acted a fool
Acting like I never had
Nothing much to lose
But I know you
And you sure know me
I knew you could see
I am begging you please
Help my find my way back to you

I want to you feel me too
So please love
Just take me back
Please
My baby

Oh if only I could have you
If only I could feel you
Just the way I want to
To once again let the world know
Its always just been me and you

I played it all so cool
God I acted a fool
Acting like I never had
Nothing much to lose
But I know you
And you sure know me
I knew you could see
I am begging you please
Help my find my way back to you
My baby

What You Bring

Its ok
All I want is to talk
But if we try this
We must keep our heads up

The words we say
And all we do
We must never give in
We must never give up

And with what we feel
Between you and I
My feet fly high
I'll never touch ground

Like a dizzy ride
We will scream
But never feel the need
To yell 'let me out now'

You know that feeling
Like being in too deep?
Alone I cannot make it out
But with you
You bring such sweet relief
And peace

Your voice rings my head
It rings so loud
I feel so old to ever want to be younger now
But you have the power to change such things
Please turn it all around
Don't let me go
I don't want you to let go now

My love move your dancing feet
Let all eyes stare now
Let them drink us deep
With all their jealousy
You bring such sweet relief
And peace

Be with me my dear
Be with me till I'm gone
These things we keep
Let us never let on

If you could
I know we should
Never let this
Turn around

You know that feeling
Like being in too deep?
Alone I cannot make it out
But with you
You bring such sweet relief
And peace

Whenever I Go Home

There is only one reason I  do this
I subjugate myself to this form of torture
I can never forget
How I have always felt for her

Never have I met
Never will I forget
Someone with such blue eyes
And with each of her words
She formed magic
Such a sweet surprise

It may be gone now
It may be let go
I hang forever on
I beg God for her to know
Just how I feel

Are you happy?
Are you safe?
I would meet you wherever
At any time
At any place

You know the power you have
The ease of you will
It caries over me
I will do whatever you need
However you feel

If I had you again
Like I did that summer night
The little stone cabin
I would make you feel like home
Like everything will be alright

I know now
I acted a fool
Afraid of pain
Keeping truth from you
Like trying to keep the trees safe from the rain

I will never expect forgiveness
Nor will I ever beg for it
Just please, my love
Don't hate me
Don't ever let my actions
Define what we have
This sweet flower
Lets protect it
That's all I ask

13 hours south of me
In the same State
This native soil
Where you 'live'
Such precious fruit spoils

I'm sure he's great
I'm sure he's wonderful
I think you're happy...
Just know I look for you
Whenever I go home

All We Do

Its not some silly little moment
Its not your name drawn on the bathroom wall
Its the time to put it all to the test
This love that we've been feeding from

I can't seem to be there like I want to
So I can feel you holding on
Betting on a false Savior
That's only been leading me on

Everyone in this town
Can see it with me and you
Everyone in this town
Knows what we do
We live in the moment just for me and you

I always knew what I was made of
Yet I ran when you called
So how can you say you were nothing to me
Loving you was my only unforgivable flaw

I make what I can of all this madness
This 'faking love' I cannot stand
You'll try to hit me, to hurt me
Leave me feeling empty
Because you can't understand

Everyone in this town
Can see it with me and you
Everyone in this town
They know what we do
All we do is live for me and you

Don't lie about it
I know that you do
You bury how you feel about me
I know that you do
My dear
All I do is live for me and you

Time Moved On

I can see you still
Standing in the hall
Shuffling your feet
Holding your hands
As if you held onto forever
I wondered where you came from
And how you came to be

I was the new boy
I never was a quitter
The owner of steel blue eyes
Oblivious to these new girls lies

So when I look back towards those mountain nights
It was a form of passage rite
I felt we both had seen the light
We held still as time moved on

Singing songs into your ear
The radio is on
I am going to miss this when its gone
And time moved on

This is jealousy in the moon light
The river on a hot night
For a moment there we were
So innocent and young

I remember when I realized
That you had a foolish heart
When you found your place
So far from my embrace
For me that was the  hardest part

You thought you had my dagger
Buried deep in your back
Hoping to escape a second attack
Darling I saw you kiss him
You should have seen your face

You're holding for a hope
All that I wanted was a little touch
A small tenderness,  a truth
Am I asking for much?
I know I'm always talking about fellings
Always at the wrong places
At the wrong time

Singing songs into your ear
The radio is on
I am going to miss this when its gone
And time moved on

We were like shadows in the moon light
The river on a hot night
For a second there we were
So innocent and young
You were always the one

Our dust seems settled
Our vision cleared
But sometimes in my dreams I hear
You voice calling me
Saying your love for me lives on

Well I am standing here
With the loss of you
Being the only thing I fear
My love for you carries on

Wishing You Were Here

Your body is a lightning rod
Capsize me and douse me in your bay
I shiver with want; like always
When your lips hit the tip of my tongue

In the back of my parked car
We could build a fort
And play here all day
Between your lips and mine
Lets stay here forever

Makes No Sense To You

There's such a sad love
Deep in your eyes
A kind of pale dew
Just open and close
Your mouth is dry
I'll place the sky within your eyes

There's such a foolish heart
Beating so fast
Like a bad dream
That lives to kill your heart
It kills your mood
I'll place the moon
Within your heart

The pain will sweep through
It will make no sense to you
You say 'every thrill is gone'
It lays not much farther off
But let me be there for you
When your world falls down

I can show you mountains of Fall gold
And clear breathtaking evenings
We were strangers till now
We chose our path amongst the stars
Lets share our love between the stars

As the pain sweeps through
Now it makes no difference to you
Not every thrill is gone
It lays between your arms
I said I would be there for you
When your world falls down

We're falling
Falling in love
And it makes no sense at all
But we're falling
As your world falls down

CJ

Girl you know its time
Collect your favorite novels
Walk into the sun's heat
Let the ocean wash away your endless troubles

The sand on our feet feels warm and alive
To feel it is our birth right
You need to let go
And show the thousand different versions of yourself
I wouldn't miss one ounce of your glow

Let the rhythmic waves talk you into dancing
Spinning around in perfect bronze skinned ragged form
Your smile heats my blood
I can see now and I knew I was right
You are so very full of life

You an Aussie fallen for a Yank like me
And I feel the same and that's plain to see
As sure as I breathe tonight
I will never let you go
I will hold you tight

We collect drift wood and pile it high
With your friends with funny accents
We set the old wood alight
Let's get off our heads
And surrender our laughter to this Australian night

Girl I am here
There's no need to whisper no one is standing near
Fallen for you I have, I say it out loud
I brush your blond hair aside
Gently kissing your foreign mouth

I can't remember when
I know there's never been a more beautiful night
Ocean air, sun and sand
And my CJ holding my hand
Pulling me tight

You're Not Alone

You know this place
You know it good
We've been here before
Your life feels like its on loop
And you're a room
Without a door

Please get off the floor
You know, out there
There is so much more
I know it hurts
And it grows
But you're not alone

Trouble has come
Its what we've come to know
It stays with us
And with every step
You feel old
I'm still your friend you know

If you answer me at last
And for once step out from your past
I could save you from this
The future is not cast

You're not alone

For Something

There's this heavy
Feeling that I carry
And I'm spinning
You play like a magician
I need an antidote
So I'll fit in

Floating
Loathing
Enough
I need to be released

Its the more, not the less
What you say
What you do
I need more than a shot
To get me through
Guess we're all born to buy into something
God give me more to feel

Its a big feat
To forget you
Because you sleep
In my memory
You said you loved me
So I fell in

Floating
Loathing
Enough
I need to be released

Its more than your life
Its what you say
Its what you do
Born into this life for something
And I need more to feel

A Moment With You

Had I owned a keener mind
I would have asked to keep your smile
Just to be mine
In the quiet of the night

Your voice would be the sound
To keep me coming round
It would pick me up
And make me dream out loud

With you its never long
Until my blues are gone
Hazel eyes are beckoning
They lead me on

What a perfect night
I'll be to your house
Soon I'll drop by
In moon light perfected you'll be
As we drive by streets we've never seen

Somewhere quiet
That's where we are going
No matter where we've been
Just as long as I'm here with you
There is no place I'd rather be

Such a perfect night
You're with me
We feel alive
This time its just you and I
With your dimples and hazel eyes

Getting to know each other
Standing next to a neon fire
Your fingers entwined
Between each one of mine
We don't recognize which are yours
And which are mine
We just know
That we're alone

Standing with shadows forming shelter
I've always loved your name Heather
Your brown hair on my shoulder
Promise to be mine forever
I'll never let you down

Its late now
We know we've got to go home
Leave behind
Such a quiet night
Lived and loved
Only by you and I

I'll be sure to call
Can you hear me for you fall
I'll be here all day
You know you'll always
Be my favorite joy

Your Fire Wakes

Its the most inopportune times
That's when I miss us
I miss 'us' being together
Remembering when I felt so happy
In your arms I could die

Now
I'm left to pick apart
All these bits of my destroyed heart
I'm left with this hollow inside

I let you in
Where only my thoughts live
Will I ever absorb your thoughts and time
Like you do mine

How can we fix this
You wanted me to feel it
Our words they don't make sense
But this is what you want
For me to live like this

Too much lost
Now we fear and feel distraught
Will it ever get easier
Not to feel your burn
You say its been difficult on you
Well its just about to obliterate me
But that you cannot see

Oh love
You there?
You know this ain't fair
What you do to me
So there...
My love

Will you ever admit to this
That our love is a mess
Your words make no sense
Talk dear
Lets reconnect
I cannot live like this

Love
Be safe where you wont get hurt
Just in case
Your fire wakes
For me
Again
My love

I Have Fallen for You

My god I've got a long walk back home
When I arrive I'll be weak
But I'll be weak in your arms
And in your arms I'll be back home

Let us lay in your bed
We laugh and smile at things
Others won't ever know
Where you're free to think and feel
Where you're free to let go

When we stand we stand as more than friends
When you stand lovingly next to me
You're a glow in my soul
You are everything to me

When the night becomes expired and I eventually leave
My feet will follow the road
And I'll leave you in peace
I know I won't get far
When memories of you
Flood through me

As I turn to ask
I notice the blush in your cheeks
My dear I have to know
Make this plain to see
I have fallen for you
Have you fallen for me

Now You Have Me Again

No this is not my hearts scar

I'm only bringing the news to a friend

No I don't feel the same

Yet my feet mosey along

While its mine I can't pretend

I walk along with the moon

Its the one thing I saw

Was your face

Your amazing crystalline eyes

Tonight be my muse

Trying not to drown it all

In the worlds darkened hues

From this crowd I heard

I heard you sing a pretty line

Please repeat it in my ear

I stand frozen at once

And when they offered me the stage

Its to you I turn

Full of faith and desire

I want to bathe in your stars burn

You did it once before

Standing wet in the rain

I know its you

Who can do it again

Snare them all

In simple words

Simple games

Where once you had me hooked

Where now you have me again

15 Years

Oh Lord she has broke this man

Its been 15 years

Will it never end

Oh God I have lost my mind

But she's done this a dozen times

A dozen times today

This twisted way led to your hotel

I found myself wishing I lived there

So I drove past your parents home

Feeling so alone

Wishing you'd be there

Oh God there is truly no one else

Did I love her more than I loved myself

No more can I try

Now the sun only beckons for me to go outside

On my way to your new home town

I realized that I wished that I lived there

Unaware of my own home

I just so wished that you'd be there

Oh Lord she has cracked my head

Its been 15 years

Will It never end

Oh God let me close my eyes

Because now she is with another guy

You Force Control

Have I got it just how you want
Force me to take whatever you got
I'll just keep my lies up
You force it all
You say you need it all

Trying to keep my head up tonight
Even when they all have you right
I'm sleeping on the floor tonight
You force control

You've come down to take me over
You've already practiced it all over and over
You start bringing strangers over
You've practiced your answers over and over

You start a fight
You tread light
You want to break me into something you love
You can never get enough

You can rearrange me now
I know you'll make it work somehow
Turn me into what you want
What you want
Anything you want

You start a fight
You tread so light
You say I need your love
You can never get enough

A Different Story

I know I may seem mean
I'm just starting to be seen
And it may seem strange
But I'm just what you need

I don't know where to begin
I never let anyone in
But I would count it a sin
If I didn't let this begin

I feel I'm growing old
And everyday I'm more for cold
I pray to God
I wish that you'd just come home
I'm tired of feeling alone
Please someone
Tell me how to let go

Dear love I know you're doing just fine
You seem to be loved so well
My love I love your sky blue eyes
You play happy
I can tell

Now I know you'll be alright
But I can't help but to feel sorry
Because love I know your book will end just fine
But I'm a different story
Yes
I am a different story

Yes I'm a mess
And yes I see people less
But I miss the feel of your summers dress
I know this all my be weird
I know you are not near
But please baby just come back here

Now I know you'll be alright
But I can't help but to feel sorry
Because I know your book will end just fine
But I'm a different story

Does He Know

Does he know who you are
Do you laugh
Does he know what he has
Does he know who you are

Does he know about your spark
Your view on life and death
Or what truly makes you mad
Does he know when you're sad

Does he know when not to say much
Or how to truly kiss
Does he know
Where your skin begins

Do you know who you are
Do you lack what used to be me
Do you know your lip shakes when you're mad
Do you notice when you're sad

I need to be touched
I burn for your kiss
Does his love make your head spin
Like my love made your head spin

Once I Found Her and Now She Is Gone

I can see in your eyes that you mean it
I can feel in your heart
It is true
I felt in this moment you thought it
"Baby Im lying to you"

Thru all of these years
You've been lonely
Knowing not what you should do
No, you are right
I've been looking as well
But babe im still looking for you

Im just as disapointed as you
I wish I did better to hide it
The only false words ever I'd spoken to you
Is that Im truely alone and i like it
Im solely alone and I like it

When you lay in bed
Do you feel lonely?
Yes Im young though I feel a million years old
Imagine your arms around me keeping me warm
Baby Im still feeling cold

Girl you must know you are lovely
You're kind
You're beautiful too
My fault I must say is that I love you
Babe I am in love with you

It may seem strange that I still fawn for you
If its true then you're truely the one
If so why do I keep on looking for 'her'
Because once I found her and now she is gone
Once I found her and now she is gone

You Dance In The Corner

I stand in the corner
I watch you dance in the other
You're light like a feather
I'll love you forever
Forever

Your come-apart
Forced an impact
But I helped the sadness become lost
Far too scared to call another
I'm here now so lets start

Somewhere once existed something
Worth a damn
We recreate all traces
To where we once had feelings
That used to be there

I stand in the corner
You dance in the other
You're light like a feather
I'll love you forever

Hours seem to gather
We laugh on through the night
Its so hard to say anything
But I don't want to change our fate

The cold weather will blow over
And what you're feeling
I feel too
Get used to me dear

I stand in the corner
You dance in the other
You're light like a feather
I'll love you forever

You re so cynical with most things
Which I hope I alleviate
It works better than remembered
When we talk straight

I stand in the corner
You dance in the other
You're light like a feather
I'll love you forever
Forever

Chose August

So it was

You chose August

I don't want to see

Won't you pull this night

Tightly around me

On the street

I see you and me

You see my love

You will always mean more to me

My grip is slipping

My heart is ripping

What happened to us

Now I know

All these photos prove

What I have feared the most

Im too scared to move

The train is coming

I await my doom

I'll die in silence

What could I do

Break down the gates

Pretend to feel

Something more than hate

Scream out loud

Until I faint

You chose August

I can find peace

I can find solace here

Knowing he can't make you feel

The way I do

And you're reminded

When you lay next to him

Each time you close your eyelids

Its me you see

Walking the winters

The spring and fall

We had the summers

He can't have you all

We were a dangerous idea

He knew it

It sank into him

His secret fear

So he bathed you in kindness

Smothered you until you were blinded

And chose August

Shadows See

I'm not sure how this should go
I feel lost, blind
Not knowing where to turn
You lying there watching the prayer candle burn
You're my angel
Our whispers break the silence
We will last
We will find it

Its always been just you and me
Forever carved in the mountain trees
With your charms you bind me
Making love that only shadows see

On your sheets
Our skin it meets
Your delicate sweat forms like diamonds
Reflecting our love that keeps on shinning
So save me love
Save this moment in time
My flesh is yours
Your flesh is mine

This time was set aside
Just for you and me
I feel strong when your next to me
You surround me like a protective cloud
I'm yours and you're mine now

My Girl

No way this is real
Watching your perfect form
In that summer dress
Twirl and twirl
You make me shake
These secret places of mine you seek
Say you're my darlin'

Here comes that feeling
How can she show off so freely
She will be my girl
Even if I rust away to nothing

Our summer will have a name
Even if you don't know I'm here
Watching you dance
With whats-his-name
He don't mean nothing

You will soon be my girl
He will soon mean nothing
Even that thing he gave you
Which forms, on your finger, a ring

Just give me a chance
Just please know my name
Give me just one glance
And I will spark your flame

I can wait forever
My patience can hold out
I'll wait forever
Oh this love you'll explode to know
My love can make you shout

I can hear you laugh
Even if its your smile
Shining through
This worn out photograph

I love to watch you twirl and twirl
Our summer will have a name
I cannot wait to hold your hand
And say you're my girl

Lonely Game

Standing on your own
All alone again
A face in the crowd
Can't remember your name
This is a party for one
That's how broken hearts go

She's the lover that posses your dreams
Can't resist
You cannot leave
That's all changed
She's chose to go

God knows what you were thinking of
Now you know
You've become
Another victim of love

Can't remember
Whose right or wrong
When the dust settles
And the magics gone
Gather your strength
And do the best you can

You've been knocked down
You pick yourself up again
Wander lost
You're lost again
Sometimes it don't work out
Like you had planned

I feel all alone
Lost without your touch
I just got to have it
Got to have your love

No 'goodbyes'
Lets take another look
You have me around your finger
Anchored to your hook
Lets not make the same mistake
Once again

Your love can be such a lonely game

The Deepest Sleep

They all have told me
That all of this would help
I find myself
Standing in knee-deep water
I went as far as I could
Just to find its end

I wake to distant sounds now
I fall asleep under this Hawaiian moon
No sound can
Nor no one can wipe it out
A feeling of loss
Alone among the sound

3000 miles away now
She lays alone in her bedroom
Turning her face now
In the night
To where lays my photo

Is it such a risk
Is it such a shadow
To give it a go
One last try...

Slowly I wake now
My skin against the sand
Sun shining from somewhere else now
If I say I don't understand
You out of all
Would understand

I've tasted the deepest oceans
Been on a Russian train that stopped
Felt the rain fall
Deep inside Brazil
But nowhere could ever be
Far enough to make your memory stop

I hear you when the wind blows
Even in the Rockies I call home
I want to scream out loud
But no one would hear me
The trees will wipe that out

I'm happy here
Just waiting
For these Christmas lights to fill my soul
You won't even try to remember
How I love you so

In Pure Loving

Now I see you come

I know he's aware of this

And the rain begins

When our bodies slowly touch

Skin on skin

I know that you'd offer it up

Not revealing what we once had

Only to me

And your selfish

Beautiful soul

Though you would want to be left

Standing alone

The music has stopped

But our lips still meet

Its been set aside

Everything

Mean ever said to me

You were found

A lonely orphan

I never mentioned

These scares I met

I ain't living in the dark no more

I'm standing here

Proud

Feeling love when we kiss

The night before

And the one after

Means everything to me

The cadence in your voice

The way you speak

Fills volumes in me

I have found

My purpose

The only thing

I'd defend so fierce

Than my souls being

I guess we've grown

Not knowing

When to say

Or how to know

Pure excellence was found

In pure loving

My heart rejoiced

Once I knew

That I felt the same

As you

Please forgive

How lost and alone I must seem

From the day I pass

To the day

We're blessed

Feels an eternity

Just kiss me

And lets feel

Unashamed

Left to our

Youthful revelry

I Here Feel Alone

If there is nothing here
Then why do both of us appear
Why then do we adhere
To the simplicity of loss
Why do we two stay
Within periphery

These places
Hold I sacred
Where we once
Unashamed
Danced
Left now to my longing eye
My longing glances

Your gaze, it changes
To shelly showers
Out comes these awful
Medieval powers
These saplings don't bend
They grow
They heal
Out of all
I stand
I feel

Outward Angels outlast
They see my emotions
You once bathed in my deepest oceans
The things I want the most
It all falls away
To your caustic cosmos

Oh fall
The things I once felt
The deals
I once dealt

Mystery flings
Your once common deal
I learn to sway
I learn to stay
Ive become unashamed
I've dealt with your cold ravage

One by one
You escort them home
The feelings once we let roam
Alone now in your coldest pulse
I here feel alone

Every Night

Don't look
Don't tell me what I see
Whisper me away from me
Don't open up your eager eyes
Just so you can watch me sleep

You know you were always with me
This drama in the dark
Tears apart my soul
I know we've ceased to start
Still I lay beneath our sacred tree

Let the night time come
Every night my dreams the same
In the night I've come
In this night I've sought out your gaze

Don't talk of love
With him on your arm
Don't talk of worlds we'll never know
There is noting you can ever do
To make this right
To fix whats broken between me and you

Every night I go
Searching for my lost friend
Every night I go
Watching my world slowly end

Don't whisper things you'll never mean
Look at me when you speak
Even in this open air
You've lost your fire
There's nothing there

Just paint your face
With your faded smile
Slipping away from me
It doesn't matter where you hide
I'll find you if I'm wanting to

So lay back down
And close your eyes
Dream of things that deny your lies

Every night I come
To dream you're with me
Every night I scream
Awakened by the reality
Of this darkened dream

Kept Inside

Don't you wish me to sleep
Never keep your eyes shut
Only when the time permits
I was only here but for the fire's lament

Hell
Go on you're not alone
You're neck will give
This short charade
Keep this message again
Cross you're heart and don't forget

Here
Again with nothing
Propped up by your loss of love
Faced the south for loss
Teach this heart how to cry
I was only trying to keep from loss

Joy
Has no place
Where your skin touches his
Meant for mine
Touch me with your dark eyes
I was only a place holder
Until time went by

So it started on this lake
Waves our bodies did make
There's a fire going out
There is nothing to this sound
I cannot stand this feeling too
You're the one whose stuck to you

So
I'll never open my ears
Only eyes
Wake up to you my life
Who goes in
And stays inside

My demons I'll keep inside

The Letter Never Sent

My dearest, I write you this letter partly to make you smile but mainly to make you aware of how much I love you. The only comfort I can find while these tedious hours wash over me are in the thoughts of you and how, with your smile, can make the sun jealous. I have recently found out that it is physically possible to ache in the absence of touch and die while still drawing breath. I run the memory of that night like an endless loop through my head just to find the tiniest hint that might shed some light on our current situation and the only evidence I have found is that fate is fickle especially in the dealings of love. Love. It is a small word that can, within the same instant, wrap one like a familiar blanket then, without warning, leave one cold and alone in the winter; though to hear you speak 'love' I would face 10,000 winters.

You, of all people know that once I get writing about your love, I find it hard to string together a single thought and I begin to write using only my simple thoughts and vivid emotion to guide my pen. Do you remember the conversation we had while watching the river slip past us about how when we touch we don't have to say a word, we just know with pure certainty how we feel for each other? Like sharing the same soul. That memory stands proudly and alone in my mind and though it is alone it keeps me company on nights like this when we are so many miles apart. I know that to many this letter would look and sound like a foreign language but to you, as seen through our lens of love, will be like the touch of my hand and you will just know how I feel for you.

I find it hard to put it more plainly than this, I miss you, I love you. I am and will always be here for you. And please know that there is nothing to forgive. I hope this letter finds you well and I hope the smile it brings you makes the sun ache with jealousy of your beauty.

1997

She Is French

She is French

She is a Brunette

She has an amazing smile

And we've never met

But still

On my side of the pond

I can't help but wonder

Nor control the way I feel

Will we ever meet?

Maybe... maybe not

But that will never change

What she means to me

So smile wide and smile bright

Smile for me

Save a minute or two of your University days

And think of me

Because I'll be thinking of you

The Night Is Ours

Just for tonight
Let me steal you away
Along these dusty roads
Free to say that which others aren't allowed to know

For your ears only
I'm letting it out
I'm letting it go
We only get once
So here it goes

All the times I told you
All the times I said lying in your arms
That everything that matters is being free
But I am only free when you're with me

I know it's much too late
And I know it's not my place
Now that it's set
Your wedding date
But here we are young lovers under the stars

So to hell with what they'll say
Damn it all
You were my beginning and now you're my fall
We can do whatever we want
The night is ours

Let nothing stand between you and me
Except the warm summer nights breeze
Forget the world
Let your worries fall away with silent ease

We can make a new beginning
One that we proudly write
Just stand with me
And let's stand against time

The Snow Can Touch You

Its frigid outside from where I stand watching you
Through the fire light I can clearly see you
He's holding your hand
The one I need in mine
To warm it through

The falling snow masks my sullen glances
Hoping for an inviting smile
And when it happens all my hope is crushed
When I find your smile was meant for him
Leaving my longing heart in a shattered pile

When you walk against the winter wind
With your dark hair blowing back
I'm jealous at the falling snow that's slowly collecting on your back
The snow can touch you
A touch that I sorely lack

You walk, alone through the blowing trees
Your name the wind it beckons
I follow your footsteps as far as I dare go
Just to glimpse your silken skins perfections
I know you're his and he's the only love you've known
But to me, you're my souls salvation

Im working on a ton of things right now and I will post them all very soon! So if anyone is still reading this poor attempt at expression, stick around!

I Make Her Safe

Did you see that look in her eyes

When she looked at him

Did you see the way she moves

When he touches her

God I hate how he touches her

How could I be so invisible

When I'm right here

Forced to watch their subtle smiles

Watch him pretend for a while

Did you see that look on her face

When she found him out

And found that girl at his place

She just ran away

I would never do that

I could never make you hurt that way

Let the bruise heal

I'll help you on your way

I am right here

Stay with me

I'll keep you safe

Did you see the look in her eyes

When she looks at me

Her deep fear

Has gone away

I make her safe

You know girl

You mean more to me

Than anything

Its just you and me

All I Wanted

For a long time

I was in the deepest love

And this love

Once had me possessed

With security and sense

That "us" no one could touch

Funny

Life didn't work out

My head is ringing with bells

All I wanted was a life

A bride to make my wife

In this shade

That once was you and me

I don't know how

You broke me down

Back to "just a boy"

You were always the one with all the luck

You came around

You're breaking me down

All I wanted was a life with you

My bride to make my wife

I'd always thought

You'd come along

Sometimes I wish

For a mistake

The longer that you'd wait

The more selfish you would get

I just want you

To call me 'a good dad'

And once again I'm shown

All these simple things

Are far too complicated

For my life

I'm just left now

With my freedom

And a selfish shell of life

Rarely Meet

The approaching storm
You can smell it in the summer air
In the mist of the darkening sky
Your lips touch my ear as you tell me
With you, I'll never be alone

The river feels cool to our naked feet
It clings on the rounded rocks
Like seasoned lovers meet
Speaking fluidity
A language we both speak

Your hair smells like the wind
Like a fire lit summer eve
Silent silver trees shield you and me
Souls like you and me rarely meet
In the night, we steal the moment to begin

No Saving You

I wished I had known
In the first minute we met
The fear in your heart
The feeling of debt I owed you

Because you've been abused
By the lover that refused you
And you wanted me to make up for that

Walking towards your room
Into your waiting arms
Those red flags and silent alarms
I should have known

We did all but sleep
And I didn't believe them
When they called you a hurricane
A thunderclap

Something kept me standing
I should have quit just then
Instead I took care of you
But there was no saving you

I should have believed
When they all told me
That there was no saving you

Welcomed Feet

Imagine if the world, within our sight
From horizon to horizon
Was the world in its entirety
Would you then deny your inner light

When I was with you those summers
That was how you made me feel
Open and relenting to everything
We smiled when we were called lovers

The cobbled streets welcomed our feet
Street music was thick in the air
The warmth of your hand entwined with mine
Your salt taste was a product of the summer heat

We were lost in the world we could see
Muddled voices and the welcomed evening cafes
Studying your every feature so as not to forget
Getting buzzed and laughing while we drink

You are the queen of this place
You fill me with everything I need
You are so spiritually perfect
And every time I close my eyes I see your face

'This is what love is', she said
Holding my body like a raft at sea
Once more she turns into my frame
The night is gone and we sleep safe in her bed

It Was Raining

I was sitting in a pub, listening to the drone of voices when it began to rain outside. The sky was darkening and it was like someone was slowly dimming out the sun; that's when people outside began to rush in to avoid the rain. Smiling I turned around to watch the people sheepishly and angrily run inside and brush the rain drops off their clothes. And that is when I saw her; she was using a magazine as a makeshift umbrella, she was wearing tight, light blue pants with calf high brown suede boots and a loose fitting and flowing white shirt, all of which looked amazing on her small frame but at the same time all of which was overshadowed by her amazing beauty. When I saw her smiling face and porcelain skin made red from blushing, it was all I could do to keep from dropping my drink. I constantly kept reminding myself to quit staring and to close my mouth; she was stunning. Her hair was the color of melted chocolate, shimmering and almost incandescent it lay against her perfect shoulders.

I wanted to talk to her, I wanted to quit guessing her name and actually ask her myself; all I could do is steal glances and wonder at her beauty. She had friendly eyes and never once gave a hint of possessing an ego beyond her control. I wondered if this is what it would feel like to see another human after being stranded alone without human contact for decades; I was transfixed. She was naturally beautiful and from where I was sitting I couldn't find a hint of makeup on her softly smiling face. She was extremely beautiful but in the simplest way. If she was in a crowd she could easily blend in but to me she stood out like the Moon among the stars.

Before I could hide my star-struck appearance and gather the courage to talk to her it had stopped raining; she gathered her soaking magazine, finished her drink and walked out. Should I have ran after her? Should I have acted sooner and risked looking like a failure if she wouldn't share a drink with me? I have never been the type of guy that uses lines to pick up women nor will I ever be but one line would have been handy then. I wasn't born with a silver tongue or charm but all I had to do is say "hello", it would have been that simple. But on the same hand, what if she turned out to be the opposite of the ethereal girl I had seen and imagined? Now I am left with the memory of her and a million unanswered and unanswerable questions. But I am also left with the memory of seeing true beauty, unspoiled perfection and a smile that sets me on fire.

From The Lawn

She lays down
She lays down next to me
Moon light graces her silky skin
Her smiling face I can clearly see

An old friend called
And told us where to meet
I saw her come through the swinging doors
I felt her coming down the street

She calls from outside
She's star gazing from the lawn
Her beauty I've never seen
Now I find her sitting next to me

Summer night
Bare foot, she leads me through my haze
Down the path next to the brook
Begging the moon to come out and play

Come away
I hear her sing to me
With the stars all watching us
She kisses me before I can speak

Her soul it shines
I feel mine lose control
Her hand in mine
She's my grace before my fall

We ride the night
And don't ask where it goes
We fly like lightning through the mist
And lay laughing trying to catch our breath

She lays down
She lays down next to me
Moon light graces her silky skin
Her sleeping face I can clearly see

Always This Silence

There's a thought so slight
It doesn't make a sound
Like a ripple wakes
The fragile ground
Its the fear of pain
The debt you owe
It's the subtle way
You spread your love around

Must we be so silent
So silent now
Always this silence
So silent now
I will never hide it
I don't even hide it now

Its this flow of remembered pain
That just moves along
I feel a pain so slight
Even when you're gone
I know we've just met tonight
But don't do me wrong
I will wait until you find the place
I am talking from

I promise you now
You will be loved
Even from my depths
You can never run from
I knew you once
I'll never do you wrong
Please say you'll be mine
And be my love

Here In The Starlight

Here in the starlight
Your kiss feels right
Oh don't try to hide it
Your heart beats wild and I feel it

You begged me to wait
But its too late
Here in this little French town
You've caught me now

Feeling you move
In time with my shoes
Leaning your head
Against my chest

I speak your name
A smile lights up your face
Gave me the eyes
You want me to make you feel right

How could I ever leave you
Under this enchanting European moon
Your perfect pink lips
Are sweet hot when we kiss

Lets damn the dawn
And sit embraced on your lawn
Not falling asleep
Our eyes, in a stare they keep

Chasing you in the night
You laugh in a child's delight
Hide and seek
Its you I want to keep

Smell of grass and sight of fireflies
I love to see your smile in the moon light
We walk along the streets
The old people smiles when our love they see

I will never go
This truth I want you to know
Say you'll be mine
In this magic summer night

They Told Me

I was lost in the way
Laying in the shade
Watching the beautiful shapes
That your body makes

In the mountains
I dreamed I would find you here
With soft whispers of the snow and leaves in your hair
I traced my finger along your trails
Your body was the map
And I was lost in it

Floating in and out of time
Nature made you and now you're mine
Watching slowly how your eyes entwine
Nature made you but now you're mine

I was moving
Across your frozen veneer
The stars were dark
But you were clear
Could you feel my footsteps
And would you shatter... would you

They told me to be careful out there
Where there is nothing but time
And the wind blows wild through your hair
They told me

Liquid Lead

Oh dear
How I once knew you
You had me fully convinced
We'd never be apart

Gone forever are those dream-like days
When we'd share each others pain
Holding you close in the light of day
And at night pressing your lips to my face

And now I want my soul to hide
When my eyes towards you are now denied
Though this door is open for you to peek inside
To fulfil your gossiping eyes

And now our love is dead
My soul is liquid lead
I walk away with lowered head
Never to be the flame in your heart

What If BBC

I could go and ask her first
You could try but it wont work
I don't want my cover blown
I shouldn't do this on my own

The night has gone
And Im walking home
But I still don't
I still don't know

If only
One of us
Had the guts tonight

Its so hard to find the silent type
Someone shy who wont spread the hype
Yours so cold when you're in this crowd
And I'm on my way now

The night has gone
And I'm walking home
But I still don't
I still don't know

If only
One of us
Had the guts tonight
What if
One of us
Had the guts tonight...

My Storm

I've been to the darkest place I know
Dear we should never fear what lies below
Memorial pain and solid bone

I see you creeping in the dark
Feeling lost cradling your spark
I am the coming rain
Like a cloak to break your day

Hold your head up high
As if nothing passes your opal eyes
If you knew what I have seen
You'd let him go
Just know

I've been to the darkest place you know
Sifting through the December cold
I found myself outside you're home
Remember its just pain and solid bone

In the dark I see your car
He is there blowing on your spark
Leave the fire unattained
My storm will fully break away

In the night I stand alone
Looking in, breathing cold
There you go talking soft
Hoping he'll hold your soul aloft

But I've been to the darkest place you know
Remember its just pain and broken bones
If you knew what I knew
You'd let him go

I Never Knew I Could Feel Like This

I hope this fire never dies
I never knew I could feel like this
Candle light and talking in your room
Falling in love by your side

You are so beautiful tonight
Though I tell you all the time
Just know I truly mean it
Promise forever you'll be in my life

The air from my lungs you steal
My heart flickers and jumps
I wait around just to see you
I cant wait to get you alone
And tell you how you make me feel

If anyone could feel this way
If ever there was love
I've brought you here to tell you
Even in the short moments without you
I don't feel the same

So here in your bedroom
Where the silhouette of our bodies dance upon the wall
Conversation broken by gazing into your eyes
I need to say something important
Someday I will make you my wife

The Fun of Finding Out

Of all the people
I thought it would be you
Now I'm a joke
I do hope I amuse
Open conversations and rolling eyes
Had I known more about you...
I'd have let go, because you have too

New circle of friends, no one you knew
I hate fighting with this
You enjoy my struggle don't you
But I've found comfort

I found out about you

How naive of me to think you had spared me a place in your heart
I found out about you
What with all those droves of men. There was never any room
You made me feel special
That's what you do
A mind game most of us have bought into
And that's the bit that's the hardest to chew

I found out about you

Orion

I know this hell is of our own making
Hating that the road we paved led us here
And there is no use in talking
You said you 'must move on'
The weight upon my heart is measured in tons

A best friend whose words will never reach my ear
We both with someone
In a cage we've made of
Gilded fear

I see your point
I was so unfair
You gave all
And my cowardice left nothing
But empty black fear

These white pills can't take away my pain
Knowing he is there proudly speaking your name
The garish sun graces your face
Dogs may nuzzle your hand
While I am left alone
An empty cowardly man

A 'fixer' I was born to be
The passiveness that runs through me
Is something I wish to cut out
So we could see what our love would bring about

You are the one
But i can't spit it out now
When the date's been set
Knowing how familiar your lips, once kissed, are set

I wish for an accident
For one child that our fate would cement
But fate is fickle
And I'm left with this pain in my chest

Nothing helps but your words towards me
Spoken lovingly but sternly
How quickly we must forget
And face the end of all
Our love forcefully forfeit

I was unfair
You standing in the dark unaware
The choice was mine
And I couldn't face the eleventh hour time

O pills take me away
From this horrid boiling fray
That I, of my own hand
Did create

I know these words
Your eyes do read
And that to me
My ravaged soul feeds

Will forgiveness come?
Will I forever hear 'we are done'?
My soul can bear it not
I'll lock myself away
And bury my ghostly soul in a pine box

I know you truly laugh and love with me
And in that lies the true tragedy
For I am yours and you are mine
That is what has been proven by the march of time

Come away darling pretty
Make this not your last stand
I dream to feel again
The warmth of your delicate hand

Every time you hear Bryan
Forever I feel Orion
Orion!

She'll Say Yes

Don't cry, I know
You're trying your hardest
And the hardest part is letting go
Of the nights we shared
Home is calling and you know its haunting
But compared to your eyes nothing shines as bright

Lets not pretend you're alone tonight
I know he's there and
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
While across the room he stares
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes

These words were never easier for me to say
And for her to second guess
But I guess
I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best

You're all that I hoped I'd find
In every single way
And everything I could give
Is everything you couldn't take
Cause nothing feels like home tonight
You're a thousand miles away
And the hardest part of living
Is just taking breathes to stay

I know I'm good for something
I just haven't found it yet

And this is the first time in a week
That I'll talk to you
And I can't speak
Been three whole days sine I've slept
Cause I dream of his lips on your cheek
And I got the point that I should leave you alone
But we both know that I'm not that strong
I miss the lips that made me fly

Lets not pretend you're alone tonight
I know he's there and
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
While across the room he stares
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance
And she'll say yes

I know I'm good for something
I just haven't found it yet

I'm Not Visiting

Hear me scream
Your mouth is racing
And I can barely hear a thing
Is this our last stand
I'm staring at my hand wondering
Why its yours that is not underneath

Where do we stand?
I was once your man

You're my red badge on my chest
A ragged scar
Like mixed up thin letters
Adorned where my heart did rest

You'll tell your new boyfriend
"He was a visitor here, he was not permanent"
And the only thing keeping my cheeks dry
Is to remember what we had
He will never treat you like that
Maybe we both were dreaming
But I'm not visiting

I waste most of my days just wondering
If I'll be worth remembering
So I'll go home alone tonight
Even when I know he spends the night
I pray for one thing
I hope to hell I was worth remembering

Nothing Less

I saw you coming down the hall
You stopped my sun and I dropped the ball
I still see the way you slept
Head over heart and head against my chest
I remember every word you ever said
The days we would just stay in bed
And watch the sunlight cross the wall

I remember when your world was mine
And being in your arms all the time
The beautiful color of your eyes
When you fell in love before you could get away
When you'd smile your cheeks would turn the deepest pink
And adoring your small ballerina feet
And watching you dance across the bedroom floor

You left your soul wide open
And let love into your head
Your heart, I know I no longer live there
Given up our chance to let love in

I love to hear you speak
You're the one I dream to wake to see
Initials carved deep into the trees
Examples of when we were just beginning

Now I dream to kiss you more
And hope his arms can keep you warm
Your solemn silence tells me we'll talk no more
When its your love I want to possess

I know your reasons
I watched you spell it out
I'll keep these mental pictures
I keep repeating "why did we let our flame go out"

I see that fire now burning in your chest
Its heat fills the air
I'm ready and standing
I want your hearts love and nothing less

Watching Stars Without You

I hate watching the stars without you
Knowing you're miles away
My heart begging you to stay
Feeling that its over too soon

A thousand trials stand to tear me apart
Oh God the aching
This cold distance we're creating
And our hearts kept from a second start

My heart, I swear, never loved till now
At once my eyes caught your sight
Plated in your beautiful light
Did not know true beauty until this night

I beg you for this, just one kiss
I want to be kissing you
Let others stand stunned at the love between me and you
Why must we put and end to this

Let God know I love you, and Orion too
My respect for silence will go only so far
The distance makes me callous hard
I will never be happy until I have you

I love you

I'm Still Your Man

I heard about your life and men where we slept
Felt the mountains hear our love; snow on your skin
I kept a lock of hair this time because i cannot quit
Never felt the ground so cold without getting sick

I'm still your man
And I'm still your man

There's no possibility I could live without this
These minutes love, to feel your love with this unbroken kiss
I swore you stole my soul tonight and yet I still live
But we clearly stand behind the line that we missed

And I'm still your man
I'm still your man

You're only coming out because you cant get back in
You're only coming out because your body begs my skin

I'm still your man
And I'm still your man

I've Done My Best Tonight

Can't take this tonight
And all I hear is you begin this fight
See me sway as you start
To make me feel this jealous pain

Profanities fill the air
Nothing grows in this, its bare
It all begun with a stare

If you want more of this life
Why didn't you say so
You drop this game
Pull as I push
We begin again
All of this is cutthroat
And so unfair

I don't care for sleep tonight
Talk to me me
And get it right
To you its a child's game
Leave me bleeding and ashamed
You don't care

I want more of your love
Of this I've said so
All I do is disappoint you again
God, and over again

Just know I deeply care
More than this man can share
Spaces between you and me seem so low
Do you care?
Then say so

Can we get it right
Even if we spend the night
Tired of this fight
Take the armor off
And begin to spread some light

You say his name
Like some sick way of drawing pain
I feel it in the air
Nothing will be the same
You know I wont go there

No games
Understand my pain
Lets not let it begin
For in this no one wins

You and me tonight
We look steel plated by the moons light
So beautiful
But all you want to do is fight
At least I can say I've done my best tonight

Star-crossed Lovers Is What You Said

In my arms I feel you slowly sway
Everyone had their chance to say
Jealous eyes begin to stare
Our honest love they wish it were theirs

Midnight stars watch us hand in hand
This summer I wish not to end
Here we talk under dawning skies
Falling asleep so we never say goodbye

Forget what you hear
Its teenage lust
Well they don't know us
They don't know us

At summers end the days make their rounds
I watch your plane make its roaring sound
I know I'll find you once again
Once the springtime has reached its end
I write you letters with trembling hands
The seasons turn with reluctant pace
Your memory haunts this place

Forget what you hear
Its teenage lust
Well they don't know us
They don't know us

Star-crossed lovers is what you said
All your words now fill my mourning head
After your letter and what you said
To inform me he fills my stead

Forget what you hear
Its teenage lust
Well you don't know us
You don't know us

Star-crossed lovers is what you said
All your words now fill my mourning head
After your letter and what you said
To inform me you prefer him instead

I'm Your Favorite Place

Tall order
This love you provide
I'm fallin' over
I'm fire inside

Cold water
Water and wine
Forever I will shine
Forever say you're mine

Wild river
Thundering along
Has nothing
On the power over me you hold

How many times
Oh Lord
I don't wanna
Fade no more

To the night
I'm another body
To the night
I'm another face
But to you
I'm your lover
But to you
I'm your favorite place

She Can Cut

Your nothing but a chore
Dirt to be swept off the floor
And I don't care anymore
That's what she said to me

God knows she can cut
Throw her fit and swing
I've had enough
Her blade hit me

You want to think you can hurt me anytime
You want to see my pain
You want to know
To see how deep your bullet lies

I have nothing left to say

Talking With Our Bodies

I cannot begin to explain what it was like
Acting like two rebel kids
Sharing a ravenous passion
Talking with our bodies in the moon light

I said I would rip you apart
It was fair warning
I love to hear you beg
The pounding on my lips is the beating of your heart

I am yours
And I don't ever have to leave
I am yours now
And I'll never let you go

Your skin is silk and satin on my face
Your love is all I need
Our fire sets a blistering pace
I love to hear how fast you breathe

I am yours
And I don't ever have to leave
I am yours now
And I'll never let you go

Of A Time I Have Truly Hated Another Soul

Given enough rope you'll hang yourself
Given enough time we'll see
In this game you live to play
You've sacrificed your Queen

Snake in the grass
Fervent repetition of words
"This too will pass"

Smug looks and a sideways glance
Hand-over-mouth conversations
You are beginning to show what we all see
A step too far you've taken

Of a time I have truly hated another soul
I cannot recall nor can I tell
And when you go
You can go to hell

Snake in the grass
Fervent repetition of words
"This too will pass"
Oh how I've hated

Alright

Leave me here in the cold
Its right where I know I belong
Its hard not to feel old
When I sing all these songs

Its the wrong time to be thinking of you
I'll live with this small crime
And I'm thinking of you
Is that alright dear?

I walk past his place for something to do
Its the last place I dreamed I'd see you
For a long time they said
"She's torturing you"
For a small time
I was the only one for you

Is that alright dear
I'd give my love away if you'd hold it
Is that alright dear
If I don't share it how are you supposed to know it
Is that alright with you?

Save Your Strength

So go on
And I will not be afraid
And I'll keep on humming
Along with your fault finding rage

Well maybe you should try
To give me a better reason why
And maybe next time
Your tears will be easier to hide

Save your strength
Because you're wasting mine
Hold your thoughts within
Because your nails ain't digging in

Please tell me why
You always begin to swim up stream
And when you finally turn around
You find you're still in love with me

You have always been
So damn protective
And I have never seen
Someones heart betray them

There is something I must confess
Seeing you tonight
And they way your body dons that dress
Its easy to see through your hollow threats

So save your strength
Because you're wasting time
Hold your thoughts within
Because your nails ain't digging in

Is This How You Pictured It?

So this is goodbye
So this is how you say it
These are the words
And its the voice you're using
Its the picture you've seen

So this is goodbye
This is how you say it
This is the time it takes you
It didn't take a lot now did it?
Didn't hurt you a lot now did it?

This is goodbye
So this is how you spell it
So this is where you place it in your mouth
What happens if I didn't hear you?
What happens if it wasn't serious?

Well I was around
Maybe it was you I came to see
Maybe it was you who invited me
I remember your eyes were on me
I remember
Your eyes were on me

Goodbye

Seventeen and So Alive

I have a worn picture of you
Seventeen and so alive
Your black lace up shoes
Feeling the carpet in my room

More than a picture
It takes me back to you
Away from this future
Wrapping me in the warmth of you

Hemp necklace with the white stone
I wear the same but with blue
You were mine alone
We were my home

I know I will never get over us
I know that you will forever haunt me
I feel you everyday
I want you to come home to stay

"The way we fit together
Its like we're meant to be
And right here, right now
This is Paradise to me

Never thought I'd find someone to move me
Someone who could see right thru me
You found your way into my head
Where even angels fear to tread"

The pillow knew our heads
And my hand was always there
Like shadows at rest
Where you came into my life
Is where my life began

We Were Strangers

I was sitting sober
Trying to drink all I could take
I felt her hands on my shoulders
She was there to sweep me away

There was a full moon rising
We made shadows in the night
I held her so I could feel her breathing
Our youth was not wasted
While we bathed in the moon light

I am still in love with you
I want to feel your soul again
And I know you want me too
I'm in love with you

When we were strangers
I loved you from afar
Now that we are lovers
I'll love you with all my heart

Not Healthy

Can I go now?
Would it be possible for me to leave
Somewhere else
Where it's not necessary to breathe?

I have lost it all
Everything I swore to keep
In just a few short days
Another man will be here sweet

I know its not healthy
To hate one's self as much as I do
To beat yourself down
To take as much as I do

I thought I was your only
And that you were mine
But somewhere we forgot it
Somewhere we both became blind

Can I go now?
Where its not necessary to breathe