Forever

There are no more illusions
No more regrets to get us by
It never felt like debt
It never felt like control of the government
You did only your duty
To provide for your way of life

When I see our flag
I feel you close
Like you want to let me know
That its up to me to make
All your dreams come true

Its the Red White and Blue
America
For which you died
I will begin anew
For America
The Experiment for which you died

I found out it was true
Every word you said
Was dripping Red White and Blue
One Seven Seven Six
Every word from your lips
Gave me a course from which to guide my life

Please never hold anything back
Share with us your mind
And your mind will set you free

On this day I feel you close
I can feel you close like you wanted me to
And forever I believe in you
And forever I will believe in you

Waking Up

I'm waking up
I'm starting new
And its about time
That I forget how to give up

If there ever was
A moment to give in
It stops here and now
Please know you'll never be forgotten

How it felt
The velvet of your lips
The words you said
Your finger tips

You will forever live within
So will how you moved and swayed

I must wake up
And see the sun that shines
To know all I see
In the reflection of your eyes

I understand its sad
I've raised this flag
To shed my colors exposed
To feel freedom in my bones

You will forever live within
So will how you moved and swayed

One More Chance

You know I never wanted to let you down
It hurts me deep to know I was the one to make you sad
Lord knows I want to undo that which I've done
And reclaim the faith in me that you had

Girl you know I love you more than anyone
Though at times I get wrapped up in myself
You must know I don't want to do you wrong
And bring you to question all that we have

I know that I've let you down
And I'm begging for one more chance

All I feel now when I lay down
Is the cold Earth against my face
And the distance between you and me
I'm dying within the immense space

Its amazing that no one will ever know
The secrets we've sealed between stars and moon
What we've whispered in the wooded dark
And the moments that flew away too soon

I know I've let you down
And I'm begging for one more chance

Apart

He's got a big plan
His mind is set
And maybe he's right
At the right time
And in the right place
Maybe tonight

With his whisper
Or was it his double take
That gave you the sign
To make out
Or just kiss him hard
Without any reservations in mind

Its late at night
The passenger seat laid down to fit
Your fit body set to flip
Your best friend has noticed
Maybe you've slipped
And you are missing
The lips you're meant to kiss

Your kiss fills with terror
When in the cold day light
When you see him laying there
His shape, sound and smell are not mine

You tell yourself he's cute
Cute in a way you cannot speak
The way it should be in movies
When the woman's knees get weak
Yet you know it will all lead to causal waves
And you feeling hollow for the rest of your days

Friends say its only a crush and it will go away
Its just like all the others
It will go away
Or maybe you're in danger
And you just don't know
You pray out loud for relief
But it just grows more

In your dreams you hold me close
Blue eyes locked onto mine
This is love
So beautiful because it feels so right
Lean in
Can you hear my beating heart
Listen closely as I tell you
I'll make sure we are never apart

You should have seen your face
When he walked up and said his feelings had passed
And you looked away
Not used to dealing with feelings unless attached to hands
Your hand brushed up against his
You left it there
You told him how you felt
He held you within his dead stare

You saw him hesitate
You asked yourself 'what should I do?'
You never wanted to be played like a fool
But your reservations they started pass
Not caring if this was ever meant to last

Either way he just wanted you
All of this was bad
Because with every taste
He wanted you and this was making him crazy

But in your dreams you hold me close
Blue eyes locked onto mine
This is love
So beautiful because it feels so right
Lean in
So you can you hear my beating heart girl
Listen closely as I tell you
I'll make sure we are never apart

Places

There is something in me
A darkened feeling
All the time I've said I'm strong
The way you're feeling
I wish I were feeling
I can't keep this up for very long
Because this time you've gone too far

Don't forget
I know what you are
Don't say nothing
And don't talk back
Keep your hands on the wheel
Don't say nothing
This is for real

No warning that this would hurt
No one told me I'd be the one against the wall
Warm feet in cold dirt
To find the places I got hurt

Did I ever look
If so what did I find
Its the clothes I'm in
That make me blind
I feel it in my skin
I feel it when it grows
I know it in my heart
That's the place it goes

Don't forget
I know what you are
Don't say nothing
And don't talk back
Keep your hands on the wheel
Don't say nothing
This is for real

I feel you when I hurt
Please stay with me
I need support
I dig my warm feet in cold dirt
To find the places I got hurt

What We Are Given

I saw my own reflection
I caught it in the window
I could see the darkness in my heart
I saw all the signs of my undoing
They have been there from the start

The darkness I've created
It still has its work to do
Though my knotted cord is untying
I see the headed and the holy
They are sitting there on high
So secure with everything I am buying

With all that we are given
We are just one woman and one man
We speak of 'union'
This union of this woman and this man

 I can feel it
My grip is surely slipping
I think I've lost my home
Yes, I think I've lost all I know
I have no credit with you anymore
Your fingers long for rings of gold

Is that understanding or anger that I see
Held so resolutely in your glance
And all the while the distance
It grows between you and me
Please help me understand

With all that we are given
We are just one woman and one man
We speak of 'union'
This union of this woman and this man

Upon my request
You take me in
Folded in your tenderness
I have no certainty
I am floating away
Nothing to rely on
I am holding still
Yet for a moment
What a moment is this
For this moment
We are embraced in a kiss

Can you hear the distant thunder
Sounding off a billion unshaped souls
All begging for creature comforts
For the feeling of what we feel
When each other we hold

With all that we are given
We are just one woman and one man
We speak of 'union'
This union of this woman and this man

Give Me Peace

Break out
We should talk
I will stand outside
In this cold dark world
I know this life is hard to begin
When you feel like its all over
But its here we can begin to start over

I know your spark for me has yet to rest
I know we both are full of hurt and regret
I will never forget the summer nights when we met
The clarity of your eyes
The smell of your neck

You know I'm dying
But I just can't let anyone know
I pray to God I can stop this sinking
All the things we left fully unsaid
All the things we should have done
But we never did
All of the things I should have given but I didn't

Give me peace
Give me these moments of our past
Give me your smooth kiss once again
I need these moments back
Please

Time For Bleeding

So I knew you were wasted
But I found out your dreams
Its so sad because when we are waken
Everything is exactly what it seems

I know he gave you roses
If you wanna throw them out
Great
But by the time you do
It will be too late

Oh
Doesn't it burn
To see me
Pleading
Both words and excuses
Are lame
I guess its time for
Bleeding

My mom told me to let the dream go
I'd rather see you hit me
Just because I've gone too far
I always lose whats real

I know you'll turn out fine babe
Like things are made green by the sun
I fell I've wasted my time at our fork roads
Now I'm too old to run

Oh
Doesn't it burn
To see me
Pleading
Both words and excuses
Are lame
I guess its time for
Bleeding

If its pity that I need
Or you're rejection I plead
This will never
Form to what I said

So everyone says to let you go
God, I'd rather see you hit me
Just because this has gone too far
And I'll lose whats real

I guess its time for
Bleeding

Fifteen Years

We gathered here from everywhere
For this July day with stories to share
The dreams we all once made
Growing up in the exact same place

Hearing rumors and things we suspect
Feeling the effects of time and death
We all feel like we're in a trance
No more are we wallflower souls

In this group there is no more loneliness
We all sparkle and sway
No more 'single fate'
Its good to feel like ourselves

This place is where we all started from
Its good to see so many familiar faces this day
Walking these once loved hallways
We've shaken the dust off our shoes
Of this sleepy town
We still gather in groups and guess at the stars
Fifteen years
We can't catch up in one day
I want to hear the stories coming from friendly lips
I could stay here forever

Never Prayed

You said 'fair well old friend'
'Our season has come to an end'
So your conscience has left
And all your lies are at an end

You were always my star
I always knew you'd go far
You'll stand in the flame
Just to make a name

Your limit has always been the celing
You buy another round
Lonely but for this feeling
I can hang around
For you I'll hang around

Would the clock on the wall
Tick the time before we fall
And fall I'll do
If only for you

Given the chance to run
It has left me spun
So I'll drive around in this car
And be reminded of what I need you for

This desaster
Is it what I am after
Oh I need you to
Remind myself
That its my fault
Its not all my fault
I can't hear your pain
I will pause no more
I've never paid before
I've never prayed before

You wish for more than feeling
You buy another round
Lonely but for this feeling
I can hang around
For you I'll hang aroud

My Baby

Oh yes
Some days it can be so easy
There are moments
When I forget
How much I want your touch again

I never wanted to play this game
Where if I lose some I become lonesome
My Dad once said
Boy when if you find a good one
Don't let her get away

Yes
If only I had listened
I would have you
Exactly how I want you
I thought I'd have you back again

I played it all so cool
God I acted a fool
Acting like I never had
Nothing much to lose
But I know you
And you sure know me
I knew you could see
I am begging you please
Help my find my way back to you

Now I'm driving past your basement window
Where you used to let the candles glow
Feels so long ago
But you still live in my memory

Remember when I asked you
If you would be my one true?
I'll never forget what you say
Just like it was yesterday

I played it all so cool
God I acted a fool
Acting like I never had
Nothing much to lose
But I know you
And you sure know me
I knew you could see
I am begging you please
Help my find my way back to you

I want to you feel me too
So please love
Just take me back
Please
My baby

Oh if only I could have you
If only I could feel you
Just the way I want to
To once again let the world know
Its always just been me and you

I played it all so cool
God I acted a fool
Acting like I never had
Nothing much to lose
But I know you
And you sure know me
I knew you could see
I am begging you please
Help my find my way back to you
My baby

What You Bring

Its ok
All I want is to talk
But if we try this
We must keep our heads up

The words we say
And all we do
We must never give in
We must never give up

And with what we feel
Between you and I
My feet fly high
I'll never touch ground

Like a dizzy ride
We will scream
But never feel the need
To yell 'let me out now'

You know that feeling
Like being in too deep?
Alone I cannot make it out
But with you
You bring such sweet relief
And peace

Your voice rings my head
It rings so loud
I feel so old to ever want to be younger now
But you have the power to change such things
Please turn it all around
Don't let me go
I don't want you to let go now

My love move your dancing feet
Let all eyes stare now
Let them drink us deep
With all their jealousy
You bring such sweet relief
And peace

Be with me my dear
Be with me till I'm gone
These things we keep
Let us never let on

If you could
I know we should
Never let this
Turn around

You know that feeling
Like being in too deep?
Alone I cannot make it out
But with you
You bring such sweet relief
And peace

Whenever I Go Home

There is only one reason I  do this
I subjugate myself to this form of torture
I can never forget
How I have always felt for her

Never have I met
Never will I forget
Someone with such blue eyes
And with each of her words
She formed magic
Such a sweet surprise

It may be gone now
It may be let go
I hang forever on
I beg God for her to know
Just how I feel

Are you happy?
Are you safe?
I would meet you wherever
At any time
At any place

You know the power you have
The ease of you will
It caries over me
I will do whatever you need
However you feel

If I had you again
Like I did that summer night
The little stone cabin
I would make you feel like home
Like everything will be alright

I know now
I acted a fool
Afraid of pain
Keeping truth from you
Like trying to keep the trees safe from the rain

I will never expect forgiveness
Nor will I ever beg for it
Just please, my love
Don't hate me
Don't ever let my actions
Define what we have
This sweet flower
Lets protect it
That's all I ask

13 hours south of me
In the same State
This native soil
Where you 'live'
Such precious fruit spoils

I'm sure he's great
I'm sure he's wonderful
I think you're happy...
Just know I look for you
Whenever I go home

All We Do

Its not some silly little moment
Its not your name drawn on the bathroom wall
Its the time to put it all to the test
This love that we've been feeding from

I can't seem to be there like I want to
So I can feel you holding on
Betting on a false Savior
That's only been leading me on

Everyone in this town
Can see it with me and you
Everyone in this town
Knows what we do
We live in the moment just for me and you

I always knew what I was made of
Yet I ran when you called
So how can you say you were nothing to me
Loving you was my only unforgivable flaw

I make what I can of all this madness
This 'faking love' I cannot stand
You'll try to hit me, to hurt me
Leave me feeling empty
Because you can't understand

Everyone in this town
Can see it with me and you
Everyone in this town
They know what we do
All we do is live for me and you

Don't lie about it
I know that you do
You bury how you feel about me
I know that you do
My dear
All I do is live for me and you

Time Moved On

I can see you still
Standing in the hall
Shuffling your feet
Holding your hands
As if you held onto forever
I wondered where you came from
And how you came to be

I was the new boy
I never was a quitter
The owner of steel blue eyes
Oblivious to these new girls lies

So when I look back towards those mountain nights
It was a form of passage rite
I felt we both had seen the light
We held still as time moved on

Singing songs into your ear
The radio is on
I am going to miss this when its gone
And time moved on

This is jealousy in the moon light
The river on a hot night
For a moment there we were
So innocent and young

I remember when I realized
That you had a foolish heart
When you found your place
So far from my embrace
For me that was the  hardest part

You thought you had my dagger
Buried deep in your back
Hoping to escape a second attack
Darling I saw you kiss him
You should have seen your face

You're holding for a hope
All that I wanted was a little touch
A small tenderness,  a truth
Am I asking for much?
I know I'm always talking about fellings
Always at the wrong places
At the wrong time

Singing songs into your ear
The radio is on
I am going to miss this when its gone
And time moved on

We were like shadows in the moon light
The river on a hot night
For a second there we were
So innocent and young
You were always the one

Our dust seems settled
Our vision cleared
But sometimes in my dreams I hear
You voice calling me
Saying your love for me lives on

Well I am standing here
With the loss of you
Being the only thing I fear
My love for you carries on

Wishing You Were Here

Your body is a lightning rod
Capsize me and douse me in your bay
I shiver with want; like always
When your lips hit the tip of my tongue

In the back of my parked car
We could build a fort
And play here all day
Between your lips and mine
Lets stay here forever

Makes No Sense To You

There's such a sad love
Deep in your eyes
A kind of pale dew
Just open and close
Your mouth is dry
I'll place the sky within your eyes

There's such a foolish heart
Beating so fast
Like a bad dream
That lives to kill your heart
It kills your mood
I'll place the moon
Within your heart

The pain will sweep through
It will make no sense to you
You say 'every thrill is gone'
It lays not much farther off
But let me be there for you
When your world falls down

I can show you mountains of Fall gold
And clear breathtaking evenings
We were strangers till now
We chose our path amongst the stars
Lets share our love between the stars

As the pain sweeps through
Now it makes no difference to you
Not every thrill is gone
It lays between your arms
I said I would be there for you
When your world falls down

We're falling
Falling in love
And it makes no sense at all
But we're falling
As your world falls down

CJ

Girl you know its time
Collect your favorite novels
Walk into the sun's heat
Let the ocean wash away your endless troubles

The sand on our feet feels warm and alive
To feel it is our birth right
You need to let go
And show the thousand different versions of yourself
I wouldn't miss one ounce of your glow

Let the rhythmic waves talk you into dancing
Spinning around in perfect bronze skinned ragged form
Your smile heats my blood
I can see now and I knew I was right
You are so very full of life

You an Aussie fallen for a Yank like me
And I feel the same and that's plain to see
As sure as I breathe tonight
I will never let you go
I will hold you tight

We collect drift wood and pile it high
With your friends with funny accents
We set the old wood alight
Let's get off our heads
And surrender our laughter to this Australian night

Girl I am here
There's no need to whisper no one is standing near
Fallen for you I have, I say it out loud
I brush your blond hair aside
Gently kissing your foreign mouth

I can't remember when
I know there's never been a more beautiful night
Ocean air, sun and sand
And my CJ holding my hand
Pulling me tight

You're Not Alone

You know this place
You know it good
We've been here before
Your life feels like its on loop
And you're a room
Without a door

Please get off the floor
You know, out there
There is so much more
I know it hurts
And it grows
But you're not alone

Trouble has come
Its what we've come to know
It stays with us
And with every step
You feel old
I'm still your friend you know

If you answer me at last
And for once step out from your past
I could save you from this
The future is not cast

You're not alone

For Something

There's this heavy
Feeling that I carry
And I'm spinning
You play like a magician
I need an antidote
So I'll fit in

Floating
Loathing
Enough
I need to be released

Its the more, not the less
What you say
What you do
I need more than a shot
To get me through
Guess we're all born to buy into something
God give me more to feel

Its a big feat
To forget you
Because you sleep
In my memory
You said you loved me
So I fell in

Floating
Loathing
Enough
I need to be released

Its more than your life
Its what you say
Its what you do
Born into this life for something
And I need more to feel

A Moment With You

Had I owned a keener mind
I would have asked to keep your smile
Just to be mine
In the quiet of the night

Your voice would be the sound
To keep me coming round
It would pick me up
And make me dream out loud

With you its never long
Until my blues are gone
Hazel eyes are beckoning
They lead me on

What a perfect night
I'll be to your house
Soon I'll drop by
In moon light perfected you'll be
As we drive by streets we've never seen

Somewhere quiet
That's where we are going
No matter where we've been
Just as long as I'm here with you
There is no place I'd rather be

Such a perfect night
You're with me
We feel alive
This time its just you and I
With your dimples and hazel eyes

Getting to know each other
Standing next to a neon fire
Your fingers entwined
Between each one of mine
We don't recognize which are yours
And which are mine
We just know
That we're alone

Standing with shadows forming shelter
I've always loved your name Heather
Your brown hair on my shoulder
Promise to be mine forever
I'll never let you down

Its late now
We know we've got to go home
Leave behind
Such a quiet night
Lived and loved
Only by you and I

I'll be sure to call
Can you hear me for you fall
I'll be here all day
You know you'll always
Be my favorite joy

Your Fire Wakes

Its the most inopportune times
That's when I miss us
I miss 'us' being together
Remembering when I felt so happy
In your arms I could die

Now
I'm left to pick apart
All these bits of my destroyed heart
I'm left with this hollow inside

I let you in
Where only my thoughts live
Will I ever absorb your thoughts and time
Like you do mine

How can we fix this
You wanted me to feel it
Our words they don't make sense
But this is what you want
For me to live like this

Too much lost
Now we fear and feel distraught
Will it ever get easier
Not to feel your burn
You say its been difficult on you
Well its just about to obliterate me
But that you cannot see

Oh love
You there?
You know this ain't fair
What you do to me
So there...
My love

Will you ever admit to this
That our love is a mess
Your words make no sense
Talk dear
Lets reconnect
I cannot live like this

Love
Be safe where you wont get hurt
Just in case
Your fire wakes
For me
Again
My love

I Have Fallen for You

My god I've got a long walk back home
When I arrive I'll be weak
But I'll be weak in your arms
And in your arms I'll be back home

Let us lay in your bed
We laugh and smile at things
Others won't ever know
Where you're free to think and feel
Where you're free to let go

When we stand we stand as more than friends
When you stand lovingly next to me
You're a glow in my soul
You are everything to me

When the night becomes expired and I eventually leave
My feet will follow the road
And I'll leave you in peace
I know I won't get far
When memories of you
Flood through me

As I turn to ask
I notice the blush in your cheeks
My dear I have to know
Make this plain to see
I have fallen for you
Have you fallen for me

Now You Have Me Again

No this is not my hearts scar

I'm only bringing the news to a friend

No I don't feel the same

Yet my feet mosey along

While its mine I can't pretend

I walk along with the moon

Its the one thing I saw

Was your face

Your amazing crystalline eyes

Tonight be my muse

Trying not to drown it all

In the worlds darkened hues

From this crowd I heard

I heard you sing a pretty line

Please repeat it in my ear

I stand frozen at once

And when they offered me the stage

Its to you I turn

Full of faith and desire

I want to bathe in your stars burn

You did it once before

Standing wet in the rain

I know its you

Who can do it again

Snare them all

In simple words

Simple games

Where once you had me hooked

Where now you have me again

15 Years

Oh Lord she has broke this man

Its been 15 years

Will it never end

Oh God I have lost my mind

But she's done this a dozen times

A dozen times today

This twisted way led to your hotel

I found myself wishing I lived there

So I drove past your parents home

Feeling so alone

Wishing you'd be there

Oh God there is truly no one else

Did I love her more than I loved myself

No more can I try

Now the sun only beckons for me to go outside

On my way to your new home town

I realized that I wished that I lived there

Unaware of my own home

I just so wished that you'd be there

Oh Lord she has cracked my head

Its been 15 years

Will It never end

Oh God let me close my eyes

Because now she is with another guy

You Force Control

Have I got it just how you want
Force me to take whatever you got
I'll just keep my lies up
You force it all
You say you need it all

Trying to keep my head up tonight
Even when they all have you right
I'm sleeping on the floor tonight
You force control

You've come down to take me over
You've already practiced it all over and over
You start bringing strangers over
You've practiced your answers over and over

You start a fight
You tread light
You want to break me into something you love
You can never get enough

You can rearrange me now
I know you'll make it work somehow
Turn me into what you want
What you want
Anything you want

You start a fight
You tread so light
You say I need your love
You can never get enough

A Different Story

I know I may seem mean
I'm just starting to be seen
And it may seem strange
But I'm just what you need

I don't know where to begin
I never let anyone in
But I would count it a sin
If I didn't let this begin

I feel I'm growing old
And everyday I'm more for cold
I pray to God
I wish that you'd just come home
I'm tired of feeling alone
Please someone
Tell me how to let go

Dear love I know you're doing just fine
You seem to be loved so well
My love I love your sky blue eyes
You play happy
I can tell

Now I know you'll be alright
But I can't help but to feel sorry
Because love I know your book will end just fine
But I'm a different story
Yes
I am a different story

Yes I'm a mess
And yes I see people less
But I miss the feel of your summers dress
I know this all my be weird
I know you are not near
But please baby just come back here

Now I know you'll be alright
But I can't help but to feel sorry
Because I know your book will end just fine
But I'm a different story

Does He Know

Does he know who you are
Do you laugh
Does he know what he has
Does he know who you are

Does he know about your spark
Your view on life and death
Or what truly makes you mad
Does he know when you're sad

Does he know when not to say much
Or how to truly kiss
Does he know
Where your skin begins

Do you know who you are
Do you lack what used to be me
Do you know your lip shakes when you're mad
Do you notice when you're sad

I need to be touched
I burn for your kiss
Does his love make your head spin
Like my love made your head spin

Once I Found Her and Now She Is Gone

I can see in your eyes that you mean it
I can feel in your heart
It is true
I felt in this moment you thought it
"Baby Im lying to you"

Thru all of these years
You've been lonely
Knowing not what you should do
No, you are right
I've been looking as well
But babe im still looking for you

Im just as disapointed as you
I wish I did better to hide it
The only false words ever I'd spoken to you
Is that Im truely alone and i like it
Im solely alone and I like it

When you lay in bed
Do you feel lonely?
Yes Im young though I feel a million years old
Imagine your arms around me keeping me warm
Baby Im still feeling cold

Girl you must know you are lovely
You're kind
You're beautiful too
My fault I must say is that I love you
Babe I am in love with you

It may seem strange that I still fawn for you
If its true then you're truely the one
If so why do I keep on looking for 'her'
Because once I found her and now she is gone
Once I found her and now she is gone

You Dance In The Corner

I stand in the corner
I watch you dance in the other
You're light like a feather
I'll love you forever
Forever

Your come-apart
Forced an impact
But I helped the sadness become lost
Far too scared to call another
I'm here now so lets start

Somewhere once existed something
Worth a damn
We recreate all traces
To where we once had feelings
That used to be there

I stand in the corner
You dance in the other
You're light like a feather
I'll love you forever

Hours seem to gather
We laugh on through the night
Its so hard to say anything
But I don't want to change our fate

The cold weather will blow over
And what you're feeling
I feel too
Get used to me dear

I stand in the corner
You dance in the other
You're light like a feather
I'll love you forever

You re so cynical with most things
Which I hope I alleviate
It works better than remembered
When we talk straight

I stand in the corner
You dance in the other
You're light like a feather
I'll love you forever
Forever

Chose August

So it was

You chose August

I don't want to see

Won't you pull this night

Tightly around me

On the street

I see you and me

You see my love

You will always mean more to me

My grip is slipping

My heart is ripping

What happened to us

Now I know

All these photos prove

What I have feared the most

Im too scared to move

The train is coming

I await my doom

I'll die in silence

What could I do

Break down the gates

Pretend to feel

Something more than hate

Scream out loud

Until I faint

You chose August

I can find peace

I can find solace here

Knowing he can't make you feel

The way I do

And you're reminded

When you lay next to him

Each time you close your eyelids

Its me you see

Walking the winters

The spring and fall

We had the summers

He can't have you all

We were a dangerous idea

He knew it

It sank into him

His secret fear

So he bathed you in kindness

Smothered you until you were blinded

And chose August