Orion

I know this hell is of our own making
Hating that the road we paved led us here
And there is no use in talking
You said you 'must move on'
The weight upon my heart is measured in tons

A best friend whose words will never reach my ear
We both with someone
In a cage we've made of
Gilded fear

I see your point
I was so unfair
You gave all
And my cowardice left nothing
But empty black fear

These white pills can't take away my pain
Knowing he is there proudly speaking your name
The garish sun graces your face
Dogs may nuzzle your hand
While I am left alone
An empty cowardly man

A 'fixer' I was born to be
The passiveness that runs through me
Is something I wish to cut out
So we could see what our love would bring about

You are the one
But i can't spit it out now
When the date's been set
Knowing how familiar your lips, once kissed, are set

I wish for an accident
For one child that our fate would cement
But fate is fickle
And I'm left with this pain in my chest

Nothing helps but your words towards me
Spoken lovingly but sternly
How quickly we must forget
And face the end of all
Our love forcefully forfeit

I was unfair
You standing in the dark unaware
The choice was mine
And I couldn't face the eleventh hour time

O pills take me away
From this horrid boiling fray
That I, of my own hand
Did create

I know these words
Your eyes do read
And that to me
My ravaged soul feeds

Will forgiveness come?
Will I forever hear 'we are done'?
My soul can bear it not
I'll lock myself away
And bury my ghostly soul in a pine box

I know you truly laugh and love with me
And in that lies the true tragedy
For I am yours and you are mine
That is what has been proven by the march of time

Come away darling pretty
Make this not your last stand
I dream to feel again
The warmth of your delicate hand

Every time you hear Bryan
Forever I feel Orion
Orion!

She'll Say Yes

Don't cry, I know
You're trying your hardest
And the hardest part is letting go
Of the nights we shared
Home is calling and you know its haunting
But compared to your eyes nothing shines as bright

Lets not pretend you're alone tonight
I know he's there and
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
While across the room he stares
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes

These words were never easier for me to say
And for her to second guess
But I guess
I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best

You're all that I hoped I'd find
In every single way
And everything I could give
Is everything you couldn't take
Cause nothing feels like home tonight
You're a thousand miles away
And the hardest part of living
Is just taking breathes to stay

I know I'm good for something
I just haven't found it yet

And this is the first time in a week
That I'll talk to you
And I can't speak
Been three whole days sine I've slept
Cause I dream of his lips on your cheek
And I got the point that I should leave you alone
But we both know that I'm not that strong
I miss the lips that made me fly

Lets not pretend you're alone tonight
I know he's there and
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
While across the room he stares
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance
And she'll say yes

I know I'm good for something
I just haven't found it yet

I'm Not Visiting

Hear me scream
Your mouth is racing
And I can barely hear a thing
Is this our last stand
I'm staring at my hand wondering
Why its yours that is not underneath

Where do we stand?
I was once your man

You're my red badge on my chest
A ragged scar
Like mixed up thin letters
Adorned where my heart did rest

You'll tell your new boyfriend
"He was a visitor here, he was not permanent"
And the only thing keeping my cheeks dry
Is to remember what we had
He will never treat you like that
Maybe we both were dreaming
But I'm not visiting

I waste most of my days just wondering
If I'll be worth remembering
So I'll go home alone tonight
Even when I know he spends the night
I pray for one thing
I hope to hell I was worth remembering

Nothing Less

I saw you coming down the hall
You stopped my sun and I dropped the ball
I still see the way you slept
Head over heart and head against my chest
I remember every word you ever said
The days we would just stay in bed
And watch the sunlight cross the wall

I remember when your world was mine
And being in your arms all the time
The beautiful color of your eyes
When you fell in love before you could get away
When you'd smile your cheeks would turn the deepest pink
And adoring your small ballerina feet
And watching you dance across the bedroom floor

You left your soul wide open
And let love into your head
Your heart, I know I no longer live there
Given up our chance to let love in

I love to hear you speak
You're the one I dream to wake to see
Initials carved deep into the trees
Examples of when we were just beginning

Now I dream to kiss you more
And hope his arms can keep you warm
Your solemn silence tells me we'll talk no more
When its your love I want to possess

I know your reasons
I watched you spell it out
I'll keep these mental pictures
I keep repeating "why did we let our flame go out"

I see that fire now burning in your chest
Its heat fills the air
I'm ready and standing
I want your hearts love and nothing less

Watching Stars Without You

I hate watching the stars without you
Knowing you're miles away
My heart begging you to stay
Feeling that its over too soon

A thousand trials stand to tear me apart
Oh God the aching
This cold distance we're creating
And our hearts kept from a second start

My heart, I swear, never loved till now
At once my eyes caught your sight
Plated in your beautiful light
Did not know true beauty until this night

I beg you for this, just one kiss
I want to be kissing you
Let others stand stunned at the love between me and you
Why must we put and end to this

Let God know I love you, and Orion too
My respect for silence will go only so far
The distance makes me callous hard
I will never be happy until I have you

I love you

I'm Still Your Man

I heard about your life and men where we slept
Felt the mountains hear our love; snow on your skin
I kept a lock of hair this time because i cannot quit
Never felt the ground so cold without getting sick

I'm still your man
And I'm still your man

There's no possibility I could live without this
These minutes love, to feel your love with this unbroken kiss
I swore you stole my soul tonight and yet I still live
But we clearly stand behind the line that we missed

And I'm still your man
I'm still your man

You're only coming out because you cant get back in
You're only coming out because your body begs my skin

I'm still your man
And I'm still your man

I've Done My Best Tonight

Can't take this tonight
And all I hear is you begin this fight
See me sway as you start
To make me feel this jealous pain

Profanities fill the air
Nothing grows in this, its bare
It all begun with a stare

If you want more of this life
Why didn't you say so
You drop this game
Pull as I push
We begin again
All of this is cutthroat
And so unfair

I don't care for sleep tonight
Talk to me me
And get it right
To you its a child's game
Leave me bleeding and ashamed
You don't care

I want more of your love
Of this I've said so
All I do is disappoint you again
God, and over again

Just know I deeply care
More than this man can share
Spaces between you and me seem so low
Do you care?
Then say so

Can we get it right
Even if we spend the night
Tired of this fight
Take the armor off
And begin to spread some light

You say his name
Like some sick way of drawing pain
I feel it in the air
Nothing will be the same
You know I wont go there

No games
Understand my pain
Lets not let it begin
For in this no one wins

You and me tonight
We look steel plated by the moons light
So beautiful
But all you want to do is fight
At least I can say I've done my best tonight

Star-crossed Lovers Is What You Said

In my arms I feel you slowly sway
Everyone had their chance to say
Jealous eyes begin to stare
Our honest love they wish it were theirs

Midnight stars watch us hand in hand
This summer I wish not to end
Here we talk under dawning skies
Falling asleep so we never say goodbye

Forget what you hear
Its teenage lust
Well they don't know us
They don't know us

At summers end the days make their rounds
I watch your plane make its roaring sound
I know I'll find you once again
Once the springtime has reached its end
I write you letters with trembling hands
The seasons turn with reluctant pace
Your memory haunts this place

Forget what you hear
Its teenage lust
Well they don't know us
They don't know us

Star-crossed lovers is what you said
All your words now fill my mourning head
After your letter and what you said
To inform me he fills my stead

Forget what you hear
Its teenage lust
Well you don't know us
You don't know us

Star-crossed lovers is what you said
All your words now fill my mourning head
After your letter and what you said
To inform me you prefer him instead

I'm Your Favorite Place

Tall order
This love you provide
I'm fallin' over
I'm fire inside

Cold water
Water and wine
Forever I will shine
Forever say you're mine

Wild river
Thundering along
Has nothing
On the power over me you hold

How many times
Oh Lord
I don't wanna
Fade no more

To the night
I'm another body
To the night
I'm another face
But to you
I'm your lover
But to you
I'm your favorite place

She Can Cut

Your nothing but a chore
Dirt to be swept off the floor
And I don't care anymore
That's what she said to me

God knows she can cut
Throw her fit and swing
I've had enough
Her blade hit me

You want to think you can hurt me anytime
You want to see my pain
You want to know
To see how deep your bullet lies

I have nothing left to say

Talking With Our Bodies

I cannot begin to explain what it was like
Acting like two rebel kids
Sharing a ravenous passion
Talking with our bodies in the moon light

I said I would rip you apart
It was fair warning
I love to hear you beg
The pounding on my lips is the beating of your heart

I am yours
And I don't ever have to leave
I am yours now
And I'll never let you go

Your skin is silk and satin on my face
Your love is all I need
Our fire sets a blistering pace
I love to hear how fast you breathe

I am yours
And I don't ever have to leave
I am yours now
And I'll never let you go

Of A Time I Have Truly Hated Another Soul

Given enough rope you'll hang yourself
Given enough time we'll see
In this game you live to play
You've sacrificed your Queen

Snake in the grass
Fervent repetition of words
"This too will pass"

Smug looks and a sideways glance
Hand-over-mouth conversations
You are beginning to show what we all see
A step too far you've taken

Of a time I have truly hated another soul
I cannot recall nor can I tell
And when you go
You can go to hell

Snake in the grass
Fervent repetition of words
"This too will pass"
Oh how I've hated

Alright

Leave me here in the cold
Its right where I know I belong
Its hard not to feel old
When I sing all these songs

Its the wrong time to be thinking of you
I'll live with this small crime
And I'm thinking of you
Is that alright dear?

I walk past his place for something to do
Its the last place I dreamed I'd see you
For a long time they said
"She's torturing you"
For a small time
I was the only one for you

Is that alright dear
I'd give my love away if you'd hold it
Is that alright dear
If I don't share it how are you supposed to know it
Is that alright with you?

Save Your Strength

So go on
And I will not be afraid
And I'll keep on humming
Along with your fault finding rage

Well maybe you should try
To give me a better reason why
And maybe next time
Your tears will be easier to hide

Save your strength
Because you're wasting mine
Hold your thoughts within
Because your nails ain't digging in

Please tell me why
You always begin to swim up stream
And when you finally turn around
You find you're still in love with me

You have always been
So damn protective
And I have never seen
Someones heart betray them

There is something I must confess
Seeing you tonight
And they way your body dons that dress
Its easy to see through your hollow threats

So save your strength
Because you're wasting time
Hold your thoughts within
Because your nails ain't digging in

Is This How You Pictured It?

So this is goodbye
So this is how you say it
These are the words
And its the voice you're using
Its the picture you've seen

So this is goodbye
This is how you say it
This is the time it takes you
It didn't take a lot now did it?
Didn't hurt you a lot now did it?

This is goodbye
So this is how you spell it
So this is where you place it in your mouth
What happens if I didn't hear you?
What happens if it wasn't serious?

Well I was around
Maybe it was you I came to see
Maybe it was you who invited me
I remember your eyes were on me
I remember
Your eyes were on me

Goodbye

Seventeen and So Alive

I have a worn picture of you
Seventeen and so alive
Your black lace up shoes
Feeling the carpet in my room

More than a picture
It takes me back to you
Away from this future
Wrapping me in the warmth of you

Hemp necklace with the white stone
I wear the same but with blue
You were mine alone
We were my home

I know I will never get over us
I know that you will forever haunt me
I feel you everyday
I want you to come home to stay

"The way we fit together
Its like we're meant to be
And right here, right now
This is Paradise to me

Never thought I'd find someone to move me
Someone who could see right thru me
You found your way into my head
Where even angels fear to tread"

The pillow knew our heads
And my hand was always there
Like shadows at rest
Where you came into my life
Is where my life began

We Were Strangers

I was sitting sober
Trying to drink all I could take
I felt her hands on my shoulders
She was there to sweep me away

There was a full moon rising
We made shadows in the night
I held her so I could feel her breathing
Our youth was not wasted
While we bathed in the moon light

I am still in love with you
I want to feel your soul again
And I know you want me too
I'm in love with you

When we were strangers
I loved you from afar
Now that we are lovers
I'll love you with all my heart

Not Healthy

Can I go now?
Would it be possible for me to leave
Somewhere else
Where it's not necessary to breathe?

I have lost it all
Everything I swore to keep
In just a few short days
Another man will be here sweet

I know its not healthy
To hate one's self as much as I do
To beat yourself down
To take as much as I do

I thought I was your only
And that you were mine
But somewhere we forgot it
Somewhere we both became blind

Can I go now?
Where its not necessary to breathe

My Skin I'll Cut

I've got this feeling
Like theres something that I missed
Don't you speak
Something happened
That I never understood
Don't you leave

Every second
Counting off my finger tips
I hit the floor
Another lover
Who says hes not ashamed to cry
He's a fool
He fell for you

In slowmotion
This slap is so beautiful
Your door slamed shut
Your heart is beating
But its him you tell to stay
My skin I'll cut
I could say so much

But I'll shut up

Return

You've got to leave me now
And go out on your own
You got to chase what seems
To be a life all your own
Before it slips away

When you are flying high
And far from home
Take my heart along
And sing no more lonely songs
Please remember me

When the wind is in your hair
I'll be the solid ground
Whatever may find you there
Meet all with care
All that may be found

I'll keep my heart hid up
And watch for your return
My darkest dream will be
That your love will burn
And I won't be the fire

I swear to be your other half
That always holds up my side
Building a bridge between
Your sweet soul and mine
And my toils will not tire

When the wind is in your hair
I'll be the solid ground
Whatever may find you there
Meet all with care
All that may be found