Orion

I know this hell is of our own making
Hating that the road we paved led us here
And there is no use in talking
You said you 'must move on'
The weight upon my heart is measured in tons

A best friend whose words will never reach my ear
We both with someone
In a cage we've made of
Gilded fear

I see your point
I was so unfair
You gave all
And my cowardice left nothing
But empty black fear

These white pills can't take away my pain
Knowing he is there proudly speaking your name
The garish sun graces your face
Dogs may nuzzle your hand
While I am left alone
An empty cowardly man

A 'fixer' I was born to be
The passiveness that runs through me
Is something I wish to cut out
So we could see what our love would bring about

You are the one
But i can't spit it out now
When the date's been set
Knowing how familiar your lips, once kissed, are set

I wish for an accident
For one child that our fate would cement
But fate is fickle
And I'm left with this pain in my chest

Nothing helps but your words towards me
Spoken lovingly but sternly
How quickly we must forget
And face the end of all
Our love forcefully forfeit

I was unfair
You standing in the dark unaware
The choice was mine
And I couldn't face the eleventh hour time

O pills take me away
From this horrid boiling fray
That I, of my own hand
Did create

I know these words
Your eyes do read
And that to me
My ravaged soul feeds

Will forgiveness come?
Will I forever hear 'we are done'?
My soul can bear it not
I'll lock myself away
And bury my ghostly soul in a pine box

I know you truly laugh and love with me
And in that lies the true tragedy
For I am yours and you are mine
That is what has been proven by the march of time

Come away darling pretty
Make this not your last stand
I dream to feel again
The warmth of your delicate hand

Every time you hear Bryan
Forever I feel Orion
Orion!

She'll Say Yes

Don't cry, I know
You're trying your hardest
And the hardest part is letting go
Of the nights we shared
Home is calling and you know its haunting
But compared to your eyes nothing shines as bright

Lets not pretend you're alone tonight
I know he's there and
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
While across the room he stares
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes

These words were never easier for me to say
And for her to second guess
But I guess
I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best

You're all that I hoped I'd find
In every single way
And everything I could give
Is everything you couldn't take
Cause nothing feels like home tonight
You're a thousand miles away
And the hardest part of living
Is just taking breathes to stay

I know I'm good for something
I just haven't found it yet

And this is the first time in a week
That I'll talk to you
And I can't speak
Been three whole days sine I've slept
Cause I dream of his lips on your cheek
And I got the point that I should leave you alone
But we both know that I'm not that strong
I miss the lips that made me fly

Lets not pretend you're alone tonight
I know he's there and
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
While across the room he stares
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance
And she'll say yes

I know I'm good for something
I just haven't found it yet

I'm Not Visiting

Hear me scream
Your mouth is racing
And I can barely hear a thing
Is this our last stand
I'm staring at my hand wondering
Why its yours that is not underneath

Where do we stand?
I was once your man

You're my red badge on my chest
A ragged scar
Like mixed up thin letters
Adorned where my heart did rest

You'll tell your new boyfriend
"He was a visitor here, he was not permanent"
And the only thing keeping my cheeks dry
Is to remember what we had
He will never treat you like that
Maybe we both were dreaming
But I'm not visiting

I waste most of my days just wondering
If I'll be worth remembering
So I'll go home alone tonight
Even when I know he spends the night
I pray for one thing
I hope to hell I was worth remembering

Nothing Less

I saw you coming down the hall
You stopped my sun and I dropped the ball
I still see the way you slept
Head over heart and head against my chest
I remember every word you ever said
The days we would just stay in bed
And watch the sunlight cross the wall

I remember when your world was mine
And being in your arms all the time
The beautiful color of your eyes
When you fell in love before you could get away
When you'd smile your cheeks would turn the deepest pink
And adoring your small ballerina feet
And watching you dance across the bedroom floor

You left your soul wide open
And let love into your head
Your heart, I know I no longer live there
Given up our chance to let love in

I love to hear you speak
You're the one I dream to wake to see
Initials carved deep into the trees
Examples of when we were just beginning

Now I dream to kiss you more
And hope his arms can keep you warm
Your solemn silence tells me we'll talk no more
When its your love I want to possess

I know your reasons
I watched you spell it out
I'll keep these mental pictures
I keep repeating "why did we let our flame go out"

I see that fire now burning in your chest
Its heat fills the air
I'm ready and standing
I want your hearts love and nothing less

Watching Stars Without You

I hate watching the stars without you
Knowing you're miles away
My heart begging you to stay
Feeling that its over too soon

A thousand trials stand to tear me apart
Oh God the aching
This cold distance we're creating
And our hearts kept from a second start

My heart, I swear, never loved till now
At once my eyes caught your sight
Plated in your beautiful light
Did not know true beauty until this night

I beg you for this, just one kiss
I want to be kissing you
Let others stand stunned at the love between me and you
Why must we put and end to this

Let God know I love you, and Orion too
My respect for silence will go only so far
The distance makes me callous hard
I will never be happy until I have you

I love you