Save Your Strength

So go on
And I will not be afraid
And I'll keep on humming
Along with your fault finding rage

Well maybe you should try
To give me a better reason why
And maybe next time
Your tears will be easier to hide

Save your strength
Because you're wasting mine
Hold your thoughts within
Because your nails ain't digging in

Please tell me why
You always begin to swim up stream
And when you finally turn around
You find you're still in love with me

You have always been
So damn protective
And I have never seen
Someones heart betray them

There is something I must confess
Seeing you tonight
And they way your body dons that dress
Its easy to see through your hollow threats

So save your strength
Because you're wasting time
Hold your thoughts within
Because your nails ain't digging in

Is This How You Pictured It?

So this is goodbye
So this is how you say it
These are the words
And its the voice you're using
Its the picture you've seen

So this is goodbye
This is how you say it
This is the time it takes you
It didn't take a lot now did it?
Didn't hurt you a lot now did it?

This is goodbye
So this is how you spell it
So this is where you place it in your mouth
What happens if I didn't hear you?
What happens if it wasn't serious?

Well I was around
Maybe it was you I came to see
Maybe it was you who invited me
I remember your eyes were on me
I remember
Your eyes were on me

Goodbye

Seventeen and So Alive

I have a worn picture of you
Seventeen and so alive
Your black lace up shoes
Feeling the carpet in my room

More than a picture
It takes me back to you
Away from this future
Wrapping me in the warmth of you

Hemp necklace with the white stone
I wear the same but with blue
You were mine alone
We were my home

I know I will never get over us
I know that you will forever haunt me
I feel you everyday
I want you to come home to stay

"The way we fit together
Its like we're meant to be
And right here, right now
This is Paradise to me

Never thought I'd find someone to move me
Someone who could see right thru me
You found your way into my head
Where even angels fear to tread"

The pillow knew our heads
And my hand was always there
Like shadows at rest
Where you came into my life
Is where my life began

We Were Strangers

I was sitting sober
Trying to drink all I could take
I felt her hands on my shoulders
She was there to sweep me away

There was a full moon rising
We made shadows in the night
I held her so I could feel her breathing
Our youth was not wasted
While we bathed in the moon light

I am still in love with you
I want to feel your soul again
And I know you want me too
I'm in love with you

When we were strangers
I loved you from afar
Now that we are lovers
I'll love you with all my heart

Not Healthy

Can I go now?
Would it be possible for me to leave
Somewhere else
Where it's not necessary to breathe?

I have lost it all
Everything I swore to keep
In just a few short days
Another man will be here sweet

I know its not healthy
To hate one's self as much as I do
To beat yourself down
To take as much as I do

I thought I was your only
And that you were mine
But somewhere we forgot it
Somewhere we both became blind

Can I go now?
Where its not necessary to breathe

My Skin I'll Cut

I've got this feeling
Like theres something that I missed
Don't you speak
Something happened
That I never understood
Don't you leave

Every second
Counting off my finger tips
I hit the floor
Another lover
Who says hes not ashamed to cry
He's a fool
He fell for you

In slowmotion
This slap is so beautiful
Your door slamed shut
Your heart is beating
But its him you tell to stay
My skin I'll cut
I could say so much

But I'll shut up

Return

You've got to leave me now
And go out on your own
You got to chase what seems
To be a life all your own
Before it slips away

When you are flying high
And far from home
Take my heart along
And sing no more lonely songs
Please remember me

When the wind is in your hair
I'll be the solid ground
Whatever may find you there
Meet all with care
All that may be found

I'll keep my heart hid up
And watch for your return
My darkest dream will be
That your love will burn
And I won't be the fire

I swear to be your other half
That always holds up my side
Building a bridge between
Your sweet soul and mine
And my toils will not tire

When the wind is in your hair
I'll be the solid ground
Whatever may find you there
Meet all with care
All that may be found

Well

I cant stand myself
And more than this
I can't take these midnight drives
Into Wood Canyon

I am in love with your laughter
I am in love with how you speak
I am in love with your manner
I am in love with how you teach

See this could be our present
You showing up like this
How our bodies would speak love
How time would stop with our kiss

This self destructive path
Leads only to defeat
I need you now
You've never left my heart

You know it well

It Does't Have to Rhyme to Make Reason

I love you
And we both know
This Fall wedding is farce
We both know where I am is false

I am going to break my bonds
And find you again
Relieve my strains
And we'll begin again

I love you
I hate how I feel
Without you
And knowing you'll soon be his
It kills me more

What the hell was wrong with us
To know at such a young age was a gift
And we walked away
I hate myself even today

I love you
And you know who I mean
I am talking to you
I speak to you
If you'll continue to read

Continuing days lead to September
To where you'll say you love him
And this "white" wedding
We're expected to buy
When our love shows it to be a lie

Many days I wish for an accident
Some moment to be our loves cement
I care so much still
And I am tired of the double life

I love you still
As I know you love me

If I Only Could

Is it too much to ask, love
Is it too much to know
The mechanics of his fate
How it feels to surrender our love

I can see you in the dark
I can smell his cigarette
You don't seem to care
Our souls once had a spark

If I only could
I'd display my despair like art
And tear my soul out for you
I'd tear it all to pieces

My blood is red
There's more than enough
And if I could I'd spill it all for you
For lack of the words I should have said

I see you at night
The places you sit
The friends you meet
I am so put aside

So much hate for the ones we love
Tell me we both matter baby
If I only could

Wholly Understated

I forget when words were only words
She knows this place makes me nervous
In this stage we can't get hurt
Please don't try to understand me
We're too cool to be alone
But not too crazy to be trusted

I found out one life just ain't enough
I need another soul to feed on
I'm the flame I can't get burnt
I'm wholly understated

But I found silence in this space
An on and off again distraction
I need such amazing grace
Heaven swept me away

Love don't change, don't come around here
Don't wear my heart on your sleeve
Like a high school letter
Don't dream, 'cuz nothing will ever come from it
And the people we've become, well
They've never been the people who we are

I strapped on one horse and prayed for luck
I dug another hole to bleed
I know exactly how this works
I need a new sad ending story

I don't need you crowding up my space
I just want to get inside you
You can't believe the hurt you save
Giving something away

I dreamed that the world was crumbling down
We sat on your back porch and watched it
I dreamed that the buildings all fell down
We sat on your back porch and watched it
I dreamed that the world was crumbling down
We sat on your back porch and watched it
In my head I heard the sound
Like obscene strangers dancing

But oh how I want you to know me
Oh how I want you to know me
Oh how I wish I was somebody else
Oh how I wish you could love

Secretly

Over the western sky
Dark clouds went weeping by
And over the furthest ridge line
Ghostly blue plumes caught my searching eye
While you intently talked to me

This parting gift
Came alive with searching lips
While your finger tips
Entwined with mine

Our shuffling feet
Matched this pounding beat
Of your heart you shared with me
Secretly

And in your living room
I watched your body move
Your sweat danced like dew
I feel so alive

And in the morning light
I woke with such surprise
As I rubbed my eyes
To find it was all dream

Exactly How I Feel

Its dark; it feels just like midnight
And that's when you notice you've acted like a fool
You just want to lose yourself for a minute or two

She stands under the bar lights
And you hear a song about forgiveness
And you forget about yourself for a while
But she's right there in front of you
Carrying on, laughing and forcing a fragile smile

And you feel like everyone is watching
As she's dancing and turning
She's holding that man like a crutch
The room is suddenly spinning
With anger you walk out to your car
Because you know what he'll do
And you can still feel her in skin in your touch

Then she goes to leave with someone you don't know
Your blood begins to boil
You begin to lose all control
Your friends don't believe it
And you fell like you're going to explode

She was so brave, she was so devoted
And you struggle to keep your manners in mind
You ache for her body
Because you were hers at one time
You gather up your courage
You turn to remind her of that time

So you walk right into her foot steps
You whisper in her ear "you are too beautiful to be this alone"
Your arm is around her
And you lovingly tell her "darling, its time to come home"

You dance under the street lights
You know it'll take time for everything to heal
But that doesn't matter
You just have to see her to know exactly how I feel

This Love That We Carry

I met you when your heart sank
How can someone so beautiful look so sad
Mourning the ending of a lover
I just wanted to see that smile come back

You said "come with me, lets go"
Saying "lets cross the state line border"
You are a daughter of your mothers
You never dwell on the pain of others

Lets hear that secret that you know
That you don't know how to tell
You can't make anyone stronger
And the answer doesn't lay in your bed
But you know that you're free girl
And the blood in you runs red

Then the leaves started calling
You could hear them with all your heart
You were looking at me right then
Wishing on your favorite three stars

You said "this is your moment"
And leaned in for a kiss
Your soul shown so brightly
You pray for moments just like this

This love that we carry
I feel it when you speak
Your heart is a love song
How could he set you free

Normal

Are you sure this ice is worth breaking
For all the pain its capable of creating
My words are calm and low
There were things I wanted you to know
And in his shadow I grow tired of it all

A normal life was forfeit long ago
We feel it more the older we grow
And sometimes, sometimes I see you
Dancing in the snow

My doll, no, more than this
My partner through life's every fit
But how can it be
When we live life so separate

Can I be the trouble you're in?
May I be the reason you grin?
I know the symbolism is fake
But can I just pretend
To be the well dressed groom
Upon your cake?

Slowly Burn

I held September in such regard
Until I spent the afternoon walking today
And I saw all the people finely dressed
Putting flowers in her yard
In preparation for her wedding day

So I buried my face in my old jacket
And I turned and walked away
Hoping to go unnoticed as a cloud
Then singing behind me and I heard my name
And I told myself to smile through my pain

She said its good to see you on this lovely day
Won't you come and join us in the sun
I politely refused and pulled an excuse
As I saw him headed my way
Because his out stretched hand I so wanted to refuse

This is all too much for me I must admit
And I began to slowly turn away
That's when I felt the Angel softly touch my hardened cheek
She said oh dear friend why must you act this way
I struggled for the courage to speak

I am not sure what it is you think of me
But to love I am no amateur
So when you share your vows with him know this
That those words spoken by your own two lips
Are to me a lovers curse

So common with the leaves of this season
I too will slowly burn
So common with the leaves of this season
I too will slowly burn

I Want It All Back

I remember skipping stones
And how that was our retreat
Or when we needed to travel
We were proud of the dust on our feet
And with a Levi blanket
The stars watched as we'd sleep

All the answers were simple
Our minds were clear
And now, it seems
There is a world between me and you
My dear

We would count smiling faces
And count their paces
As they all staggered
From beer to beer

Our nights were forever
And morning was just a word
We were young and clever
Worry was something not heard

Now I remember you had your blue dress on
And pretending we were royalty for just this once
Singing songs on my guitar from the front lawn
Give me one reason this night cant go on and on


Now I want it all back

02/14/97

I can't remember anything before this night
All of us singing and dancing
Makeing you smile
Bathing in your light

It has never been so clear
Never shown this bright
Never felt as exciting
Never have you felt so dear

You know we are the envy of all
With thier sidways glances
And thier hushed tones
They watch as in love we fall

Maybe its our youth
Or could it be time
Whatever the cause
This night I'll make you mine

I know its February
And I know its silly
But if I don't work up the nerve
You could walk away easy

I don't know how to say this
So I just will
I love you
And with one golden word
Will you, this wish fulfill

I know its February
And I know its silly
But if I don't work up the nerve
You could walk away easy

Heart Beat

Whatever made me glow
Its gone now
But I pretend I'm feeling it still
You know its getting very hard
To go on now
But I pretend I want to

You know it wasn't really me?
You know I wasn't really there?
I would have thought more carefully
I would have turned it all away

You know I wouldn't really care
But someone looking just like me
Just turned around and you were there

Your finger prints are on my wall
Why must you go now?
"Cus I got nothing more to say"
Except I didn't want to fall
So be still now
As I'm walking slowly away

Your finger prints are all over my world
I see your jacket in the street
What if they hear my heart beat?
Because you've been seen with another man
And hes in everyone you see
And I can hear your heart beat

Seamless Soul Sound

This fairytale you've became
Your magic and life weave this maize
Through blurred eyes is all that I know
I am stolen, rigid as white oak

That blue dress makes your skin look porcelain
Its the one I love to see you in
Oh make tonight more than the sister of day
Lets make it a place where perfect we'll stay

I must confess I feel lost in your step
But every moment for me is a moment kept
And all the butterflies I cannot conceal
You are my youth; this magic I feel

Will you not belong to me?
I do not pretend to know what our future brings
All I know is here, and now
You are the music in a seamless soul sound

Empty Rooms

The slowest night
The slowest dance
You swayed across the room
As in a dream
An empty house
With empty rooms
I loved you so

And now you're going
Go, and leave if you must know
And go- I never wanted you to know
Go