Too long

Its been too long since I have written anything. And that will all change soon. I just hope no one has given up on me.

One Knee

Summer time, late afternoon
Begging for the rain
Knowing the morning will come too soon
Both were holding on in vein

Grasping at the moments passing by
While ignoring time
Separating just to turn up the music
And dance the night to shame

He told her his heart was her home
So when the sun comes
She won't have to go

So on one knee he asked her to stay
And for all of her life she had waited to feel this way
There under the mountain sky
She said 'yes' and both cried

They damned time, and damned fate
That night they chose which path they'd take

I Can't Find Myself

I can't find myself
I can't find myself
In the head of this stranger in love

Holding on given up
To another under faded setting sun
And I wonder where I am...
Could she run away with him
So happy and so young
And I stare
As I sing the lost voice of a stranger in love
Out of time letting go

In another world that spins around for fun
And I wonder where I am...
Could he ever ask her why
So happy and so young...
And I stare... but...

I can't find myself

Explain

Its hard for me to explain why I write, or how these ideas come out. If I had to come up with one reason why I write, it would be because I feel like my time would be better used up somewhere else. Not that I'm not happy here, at school and work; but my mind, at times, is elsewhere.

Hotel Bed

You may tire of me as our December sun is setting because I'm not who I used to be
No longer easy on the eyes but these wrinkles masterfully disguise
The youthful boy below who turned your way and saw
Something he was not looking for: both a beginning and an end
But now he lives inside someone he does not recognize
When he catches his reflection on accident

On the back of a motor bike
With your arms outstretched trying to take flight
Leaving everything behind
But even at our swiftest speed we couldn't break from the concrete
In the city where we still reside.

And I have learned that even landlocked lovers yearn for the sea like navy men Cause now we say goodnight from our own separate sides
Like brothers on a hotel bed
Like brothers on a hotel bed

Dcfc

And it came to me then that every plan is a tiny prayer to father time
As I stared at my shoes in the ICU that reeked of piss and 409
And I rationed my breathes as I said to myself that I'd already taken too much today
As each descending peak of the LCD took you a little farther away from me

Amongst the vending machines and year-old magazines in a place where we only say goodbye
It stung like a violent wind that out memories depend on a faulty camera in our minds
But I knew that you were a truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all

And I looked around at all the eyes on the ground as the TV entertained itself
'Cause there's no comfort in the waiting room
Just nervous pacers bracing for bad news
And then the nurse comes round and everyone will lift their heads
But I'm thinking of what Sarah said that "Love is watching someone die"

So who's going to watch you die?..

Free Yourself

Don't look back now
Don't look back over years gone by
Their gone
And now its time to leave

Don't look back now
You have to let your childhood go
And then you'll find a peace within

And you'll free your mind to sleep
And you'll free yourself of me

Don't be afraid
You have so many choices
Hold your head up high
And say "good-bye"

No second thoughts
You have a future waiting
Take my hand and I will show the way

Free your mind to sleep
Free yourself of me
And you'll free yourself to sleep

Yup.... this is me.

I am Unfolding

Does it feel like we've never been alive
Because it seems like its only just begun

To find myself I sort through the wreckage of my past
To lose it all you have to do is lie
The policy is set
And we are never turning back

The ultimate defense is to pretend
All I am is a shadow of a man
Its time to set myself on fire
Maybe the light will draw some friends

I am unfolding

My Soul Is Shook

I feel so unashamed
Yet tongue tied
I am sickened by what I have made
But somehow satisfied

My soul is shook
I'm up all night
Oh the tole has been took
And now I am far from your sight

The air is clear
On the dawn of my life
The time is drawing near
To all I swear I am fine

Over Again

Nothing is ever what it seems in this place
So you can't take anything for granted
And don't tell me that the truth hurts little girl
Because it hurts like hell

That's right
Its not fair, but that's only the half of it
Here there ain't no doors
No light, with no room to sit

And the beginning has no end
Torture calls in this winter wind
When peace is found
We all must start over again

If Travel is Searching

If travel is searching
And home is what has been found
I am not stopping
I am going hunting

I am the hunter
I'll bring back the goods
I am on my way

I thought I could organize freedom
How American of me
This is who I am
You figured it out didn't you

You could smell it
So you left me on my own
To complete the mission
Now I leave it all behind

I'm going hunting
I'm the hunter

You just didn't know me

I Pray for Resolution

The words flow
Decisions made
Ideas mine
But the inspiration dies

Dreams of hanging on
Dreams of getting well
Splinters in the eye

Bones will never rest
It was never up to me
And yet I pushed until it broke

I love the open road and all that it suggests
We are wagon dust
Weeds of infidelities

Always follow along and never question why
In a wooden house, immovable and silent
Forever lost in time

And thru the sleeping streets
Night bound and dreaming
No shadows have we

Now my gates are high
My friends are even higher
A garden in my mind with stars that linger on

My heart is pointed down but my spirit pointed up
Behind this paneled door
I play my guitar and live those lonesome notes

I often speak of you
But the you is always me
Because when i speak of me
Its me I ask of you

So let there be no truth
Just trickery in rhymes
A child is who I was
A child is how I'll die

Dreaming

She left her shoes out on the beach
She left my dreams just out of reach
She left her footprints in the sand
She was a bird right in the hand

I met a girl that made me laugh
She left a faded photograph
I thought I had hear her siren song
I sang along but I was only dreaming

Visions in my head
Talking in my sleep
Turning in my bed
But I was only dreaming

I met a girl that talked in rhyme
I met a girl who took her time
I saw the ocean in her eyes
I saw myself unrecognized

And all the stars up in the sky
Fell down like rain and made me cry
I held the world right in my hands
I held her close

But I was only dreaming
Life was so complete
But I was only dreaming!

Riddles In The Dark

The softness in the snowfall
The silver shining stars
The moonlight off the hoods of passing cars
Remind me of you most of all

I fear I've passed into a dream
Strayed somehow from thought and time
But here, there is no time
And everything is whatever we want it to be

Two shadows chasing each other in a night sky park
Slow-motion fireflies
Holding their reflections in your eyes
And laughing sweet to riddles in the dark

A dream it may be
And the morning sun will wash all but memory away
For now I cling to this dream before it strays
And doing so, I hold you close to me

End

If death came knocking
Would you send it a way
If that frozen hand stretched for you
Would you keep it at bay

What if you could end it all
What would eternity and judgment hold
When silver trumpets call
And body grows old